Clear Thoughts
by Tron11
Summary: Eve. My name is Eve Winters. Life has gone for a turn to the worse as the unimaginable has happened to me. I drift by life now withstanding the pain until I meet someone who seems to be able to take it away, Embry. (UPDATE REGULARLY JS)
1. Clear Thoughts

**1- Clear thoughts**

_"Dear Pain, you strike me again, my wounds are not yet healed but the scars has been revealed oh please I wanna be saved from the pain that never fades."_

"How long do you think you'll stay for?" Kim's voice asked me as I clenched my eyes shut trying to block her out. I felt a jabs of Kim's fingers poke my arm, I clenched my fist in annoyance.

"Kim stop it" I said irritated, she sighed but she did stop poking me,

"Well I need to know soon...well at least my parents do" Kim said, I felt her lean back on the sofa, I kept my eyes shut.

"I wont stay long Kim don't worry" I eventually replied

"I'm not worrying, I want you to stay but I know I wont be the best person to…" Kim cut herself off in thought, I waited silently for her to reply, I knew she wasn't good with words.

"..to help you" she said nervously. I smiled, feeling a wave of affection towards my good friend Kim Connweller.

"Kim as long as you can distract me then it's fine" I replied with a sigh, she went quiet. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around me, I was on the other side of the small sofa in Kim's house, around me was bookshelf's and a small TV in-between all of them.

I could feel Kim's stare as I looked around the place that was so familiar to me that I could almost call it home. Childhood memories filled my mind from when we used to come down here for holidays. I looked at Kim turning my head slightly, my neck still ached from the way down here from the car, I don't sleep well in cars.

She smiled at me, I felt a small wave of jealously hit me as I looked at Kim. Her dark completion stood out against the dark lights of the living room making her skin look cleansed and clear, her black hair was wrapped around her in tight waves, she had pulled it to one side in a low pony tail, her blue eyes stared into mine.

"You okay Eve?" She asked nervously, I nodded and gave her a slight smile

"Yeah, just staring longingly at your hair" I said to her, she replied with a small smile, "seriously can I have it?" I asked, she laughed. I brought my hands out to touch my short auburn hair, wishing for a slight second that I hadn't cut it.

"Sure, I wouldn't mind being bald for a while" she said, I smiled slightly, she sighed and got up with a stretch, Kim turned to look at me, her eyes tightened. "Do you need any help unpacking?" She asked me kindly, I shook my head.

"I think I'm good, I would like to be alone to help prepare for tonight" I said with a sigh, Kim frowned,

"You know we could cancel" she said quickly, I quickly shook my head,

"No I want to do this, I have to" I said quietly, on the inside I was dreading this evening. Kim had 'invited' me to go with her to meet up with her friends…who are all guys. I have to say I was surprised at first, Kim was always the quiet, bookworm type not the type who surrounds herself around guys, but I made myself not be judgemental, it was her life. I knew that people used to judge me, I made myself not be like them.

Kim smiled brightly at me "Okay then, I'm going to be at Jared's, will you be okay by yourself?" she asked concerned, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her.

"I'm sure I'll be fine" I replied, she looked slightly relived, I knew she wanted to go see her boyfriend, a word I still couldn't meet terms with. Kim, the girl who would rather stay at home and read for the whole day than go out, has a boyfriend. I was genuinely happy for her but I was also intrigued on what he would be like, I knew Kim wouldn't go for the bad boy type, I guessed a dorky guy, that would be what Kim would like.

Kim began to get her coat on, she looked more happier now that she was leaving me, I could almost sense it, I knew I shouldn't get upset over it, Kim seems to be the only one who can actually stand me these days, I smiled at her and got up as well, slowly taking much care to not hurt myself. I stretched slightly, feeling my back click and move around causing jolts of pain, I sighed and cleared my mind. I could feel Kim watch me, I ignored her while walking into the spare room which I guess was now my room, everything was wooden, wooden shelves, wooden bookcases, wooden dresser. I collapsed on the bed wondering what I could expect from tonight.

* * *

**hallo**

**I've had this idea for god knows how long, it's going to be a long story WHICH i am determined to complete, so**

**please faithful readers I know Eve may seem like a complete bitch to you or maybe a nice girl BUT STAY WITH ME I WILL UPDATE FREQUENTLY!**

**I promise**

**Well I'll try**

**and REVEIWWWWWWWWWW it would mean a lot to a 15 year old who is craving nutella and cookie dough ice cream :DD**

**ps. sorry it's not so long :)**

**XOXO GOSSIP GIRL- i love doing that.**


	2. New Faces

**2- New Faces**

_'Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain'_

"Eve, you ready?" Kim's voice reached to me, I heard her footsteps echo on the wooden floor boards, I tensed slightly as she opened my door, she frowned at me. I was curled up on the bed with my suitcase next to me still unpacked.

"Sorry Kim, guess I lost track of time" I said apologetically, I began to get up

She stared at me in pity but smiled "It's okay, it's your suitcase" she said with a light shrug, "so you were okay on your own?" she asked as I slipped some shoes on that were tucked underneath the bed.

"I don't think a solid hour of being alone would kill me Kim" I said with a small smile, "I'm surprised you're back so early…" I said looking at her as I did up the laces of my boots, she quickly interrupted

"I wanted to check on you" she said kindly, I didn't know exactly how to respond to this but Kim carried on talking, "plus we have to go soon" she said, my brows furrowed.

" so early?" I questioned looking at the clock on my bedside table, it was only 5pm, Kim smiled sheepishly at me.

"I wanted us to get there slightly early so we have a chance to meet everyone" Kim explained to me, I just nodded at her. I slowly leaned down to open my suitcase to get a jacket, I gasped slightly from the pain coming from my back. Kim rushed to me in a panic "are you okay?" she asked me loudly, I nodded not trusting myself to say anything. I took a deep breath and quickly got my jacked. I could feel Kim's nervous glances at me,

"I'm okay Kim" I said reassuringly, she didn't look very convinced, "…just leaned in too far" I added, hoping she wouldn't press me for a full medical examination. She nodded at me but helped me get my jacket on, I tried not to wince too much.

"maybe we shouldn't go…" Kim ushered nervously, I frowned

"no, you already told your friends I was coming" I said to her sadly

"I don't want you to be in any pain…" Kim said to me, I sighed

"I'll be okay, what have you told them?" I asked her curiously, she sat down on the bed next to me.

"just said that you have a rough past and that you are not good around people" Kim said, I laughed quietly, Kim smiled.

"I guess that's true" I said.

We both got into Kim's car, Kim made sure the house was locked up, I tried not to roll my eyes again, she noticed though. "What?" she asked, starting the car up. I decided to let my thoughts out loud,

"It's not like anyone is going to rob the house living in a safe place like this, why lock up?" I asked,

"My parents trusted me to keep the house safe, and I will do that until they get back" she replied almost immediately, I smiled at Kim's responsibly

"you know most teenagers would throw a party if there parents were away" I said to her, Kim rolled her eyes,

"well I guess I'm not like most teenagers" she said, I smiled at her as she drove, her eyes darted to me,

"Would you?" she asked, I immediately frowned

"the old me would, any chance given she would" I said with a sigh blocking the memories out. Kim frowned as well, back in California, where I used to live, I made a turn to the worst and became basically a bitch, I ignored Kim calls and texts even letters for years, then the unthinkable happened and I'm friends with her now, I still feel extremely bad but she wont hear any of it. I struggled fighting against my mind and tried to distract myself,

"So we are going to Emily's house? Is that her name?" I asked Kim who was concentrating on not crashing into anything even though we were going a slow 30.

Kim nodded "yes, she is Sam's girl-fiancé" Kim said correcting herself, I raised my eyebrows,

"and this Sam is one of your friends" I said, Kim thought for a moment

"Sort of, mainly Jared's friend well they all are Jared's friends, he's the oldest one though" Kim explained,

"So you are just the groupie then?" I asked with a smile, Kim laughed shaking her head, she quickly changed the subject.

"quick warning about Emily…" Kim started to say,

"please tell me she isn't a sociopath" I said

"No" Kim replied

"Schizophrenic?" I asked

"No"

"OCD?"

"No"

"I know, alcoholic" I said leaning back, Kim sighed,

"Her face is disfigured" Kim said putting me in silence, I stared out into the road, it was raining slightly, "only on one side, a bear attacked her a few years back" Kim explained looking at me,

_I know what it's like for a bear to attack you, _I thought sullenly, I nodded. I felt sorry for Emily, I know what it's like to have scars but not on my face, and if it was as bad as Kim was making it out to be then it must be tough for her.

"She's a lovely person, Sam is crazy for her" Kim said getting nervous that I wasn't speaking, I shook my head ever so slightly, shaking all thoughts away from me.

"That's nice" I finally said breaking my thoughts. Kim smiled relived I was back again.

The car got slightly rocky as we went down a gravel road, "so you are going to be okay?" Kim asked, I quickly nodded reassuring her again.

"I'm looking forward to seeing your new boyfriend" I said wanting to change the subject, Kim smiled,

"I have a feeling you are going to be surprised" Kim said,

"I hope I am" I said, the car rolled to a stop in front a large wooden house, chunks of driftwood were sticking about the place and trees were curled around the house almost as if they were protecting the house. A chimney was smoking on top of the house, I could faintly hear voices come from the inside, Kim turned off the ignition and slid out of the car, I quickly followed feeling slightly nervous as this was the first social event I had attended in years. I stayed on Kim's heels as she walked up the porch steps before she even could knock a man walked out.

This was a _huge _man, I looked up, my neck almost straining

He had red brown skin, brown eyes, and cropped black hair, he was wearing a dark shirt showing off his long, rounded muscles but this wasn't what interesting me so much, it was his smile.

He smiled like morning had literally broken, like perfection was standing right in front of him, never have I ever seen a man smiled the way this man did and then I realised that this perfection he was smiling at was Kim.

"Kim" He said so lovingly that made me feel slightly sick, I was never good at being around people who were in love, Kim was blushing and I couldn't blame her, I guy looked at me the way he was, I would be slightly embarrassed. He averted his gaze and looked at me, not in the same way, but he had a friendly grin.

"Hi you must be Eve" he said offering his large hand in front of me, Kim was looking nervous again. I paused for a long moment but shook it eventually, "Hi" I said very shyly. He released his hand and stood back so he wasn't towering over me, he was well over 6 ft. He looked at Kim again. "I wasn't expecting you guys for another hour, dinner isn't even ready" he said itching his head

"unlike some people I can stand not eating for a certain amount of time" she said grinning, he grinned back. I felt like I was intruding some how, "well the more the merrier" he said walking inside, me and Kim followed.

The house itself was very warm inside, all the furniture was spaced out making the place look even bigger, there a large kitchen to the left of me and the rest was a big living and dinning area, hallways were dotted about the place. Sunlight was streaking through the large windows, I noticed the rain had quickly stopped. Huddled around the sofa and chairs were many large, copper skinned men, all seemed to be concentrating on a football match on the large TV.

I followed Kim and Jared, who were already in a high speed conversation, most of the guys ignored us but a few turned their heads and smiled, I felt incredibly awkward. I pushed my eyes to the floor as we walked near the open kitchen.

A woman was running about the place, turning oven knobs and setting plates up, she looked up and I saw the woman Kim was describing. The right side of her face was scarred from hairline to chin by three thick, red lines, they were long healed but were etched into her skin. One line was circled around her almost perfectly shaped almond eye, another twisted the right side of her mouth into a permanent grimace apart from this, the woman was beautiful. She had beautiful black swept hair that was pulled into a tight ponytail, her copper skin glowed against the sunlight coming from the windows. I smiled at her and she smiled back getting rid of her grimace and turning it into a friendly smile.

"Ah this must be Eve" she said softly, wiping her hands on her apron she walked to me, I could tell she was about to hug me, I immediately shot my hand out, she made no comment but raised her eyebrows, I shook her hand, happy she didn't hug me. Kim looked upset as did Jared at seeing Kim upset.

"Hi, your house is beautiful" I said kindly, wanting to make up for the rude introduction, she smiled brightly

"Thank you" she said, Emily looked around at the men and caught the eye of one of the biggest, tallest men, he smiled the same way Jared did to Kim and walked quickly over, he wrapped his arms around Emily's waist.

"I'm Sam Uley" he said with a smile, I managed to smile back but I shot a look at Kim who came quickly to rescue.

"Sorry we came so early Emily, I wanted Eve to meet everyone before we ate" Kim said looking at me, I smiled at her glad I wasn't doing the talking. They talked for a few minutes, a small buzzer went off and Kim rushed back into the kitchen, Sam followed her and helped her get ready for dinner. Kim smiled at me and her and Jared walked to the living area, I slowly followed wishing I could leave or at least stay with Emily who I thought I would get on better with than the rest of them.

I took a hesitant breath and calmed myself getting ready to talk which was something I wasn't used to doing.

* * *

**TADA?**

**...**

**I made it longer at least, so yeah blaugh this is like I said much longer than the chapter before. THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU GUYS. JESH. I'm joking of course.**

**Thank you to all the people who have followed and favourited this story, it means a lot man :3**

**so yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhh**

**REVEIIIWWWWWWW?**

**:) xoxo**

**ehehe- I don't know why this is in Italics, or is it just me?**


	3. Cooking Extravaganzas

**3- Cooking Extravaganzas **

'_Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.'_

"So... you used to live out in California?" One of the large, buff men asked me, I looked up at him slightly and nervously nodded.

"That's awesome" He vastly replied with a wide grin, a few of the men around him nodded their head in agreement.

I had made it through 5 minutes so far of mindless chatter; they all shook hands with me to start with, being very polite; I guessed Kim told them how anti-social I am. They also all looked the same to me, short cropped hair, and huge, broad shoulders, I managed to catch a few names but I didn't play too much close attention as Kim had introduced me to everyone, I mainly stood with my eyes glued to the floor twiddling my thumbs around.

"She's been staying with her dad now, _remember_ Paul" Kim reminded him sternly, Kim's waist was around Jared's arms, she looked very comfortable. I noticed Kim looked quite angry at Paul, I guess she was worried that I would have a fit or something over the word California.

"Oh yeah" He said, he looked down at me, I felt very nervous, I hated tall people even though I was quite tall myself, I hate people looking down at me. "In…Canada?" He asked me politely, I nodded again wishing they would just drop the subject now.

"Apparently Canada contains 9% of the world's renewable water supply" One of the guys said who was lounging on the sofa, everyone turned to stare at him. He raised his eyebrows at all of us, "What? I had to do a geography project on Canada" He said defensively, Paul chuckled.

"In what, 5th grade?" He asked, all the men laughed loudly, the laughs echoed across the wooden floors.

"Seriously Quil how do you remember stuff like that?" Another guy asked him,

"Can I borrow your brain for my next trig test…?" All the guys started talking to each other, laughing loudly. I almost let out a sigh of relief that they stopped talking to me; I felt a warm wealth of gratitude to the guy named Quil for changing the subject.

I glanced at Kim who smiled at me. Jared at let go of her and was muttering to one of the guys. Kim walked up close to me, "That wasn't so bad" She said acting like she was talking to a little kid.

"No it wasn't" I said trying not to get annoyed at her tone of voice, Kim started to talk to me but I zoned out again, I couldn't help it, I do it all the time, my mind just goes blank although my ears picked up on what Jared was saying to Paul.

"Embry still stuck at his house?" Jared asked Paul frowning,

"Yup, I could almost hear his mom yells from my house, poor kid" Paul said, Jared sighed. My ears dulled again so I watched him very interested, his eyes kept darting to Kim as if she was some sort of refrigerator he was stuck to, Jared's body was turned towards Kim even though he was talking to Paul, I watched him for several minutes till my ears came back to life.

"…Eve…Eve…you're doing it again" Kim said, snapping me back to her conversation. I shook my head slightly,

"I…err…I'm sorry." I said, feeling bad that I zoned out on her again, she sighed but smiled at me, forgiving me as she always does, I guessed.

"Like I was saying…I'm sorry Paul mentioned California I didn't want you to be uncomfortable tonight. I swear they all have the memory of a fish...well besides Quil." Kim said annoyed, I suppressed a laugh but smiled,

"It's okay Kim you don't need to get edgy about it, I didn't mind, I'm glad you pre-warned them in advance, wouldn't want me going crazy, that would make a great first impression on your boyfriend" I said with slight humour so Kim wouldn't think I was actually being serious. Kim smiled at me widely, she looked at Jared who was staring at her in awe again, and her cheeks flushed red but she smiled at him. He took long strides over and in a few seconds he was by Kim's side. Jared took his eyes away from Kim, however that seemed possible, and looked at me in slight pity, I frowned slightly but didn't make a thing out of it.

"So…good trip down then?" Jared asked me, I nodded, my throat went tight not wanting to make a sound. I opened my mouth and tried to say something but I couldn't so instead I sighed probably confusing Jared by my lack of response, thankfully Kim came to the rescue once again.

"It might have been good for her but for me, it was awful I got Mom and Dad's car so messy, they're going to kill me." Kim said putting the pity party on her for a chance, it was nice. I took a deep breath and pretended Jared wasn't there and before he could open his mouth, I spoke to her.

"I'll pay to have it washed if you want" I said, but Kim shook her head vigorously.

"I'm not blaming you Eve!" Kim rushed out apologetically, "I mean, it gets messy all the time because of the amount of rain we get…the mud..." Kim mumbled off staring at me, waiting for me to scold her. I laughed which shut Kim up; I found her panicking words funny as Kim is never actually in the wrong.

"Kim you get too panicky for the smallest of reasons" I said to her, Jared laughed,

"Took the words straight out of my mouth" Jared said nudging Kim, who nudged him back. Kim looked happy as she saw I was in a better mood. Jared patted his stomach, "I hope Emily hurries up" He muttered sounding desperate.

"Jared, you ate like 5 big bags of chips practically an hour ago, how are you still hungry?" Kim asked in amazement, I heard his stomach even growl after Kim spoke. He smiled sheepishly at her but Kim still frowned at him. I stared at the two of them again but slowly drifted off to the Kitchen area where Emily was still rushing around.

Sam was sitting on one of the stools by the kitchen counter, chatting rapidly to her, but it didn't look like Emily was listening. I left Kim and Jared, who were still gazing at each other, and I walked closer and closer to Emily and Sam. He seemed to have heard my footsteps somehow and looked up at me which was strange as the room was very loud from all the guys by the sofa, laughing loudly but I shook the thought out of me.

"Oh. Hi Eve" He said to me brightly, Emily turned around; I looked at her nervously, but got the courage out of me, somehow, to speak.

"Do…..you…err…..need…any…well…some help?" I choked out finally. She smiled widely at me making her scars look even more disfigured.

"Glad you asked!" Emily said brightly, "No one ever helps me around here" She said catching Sam's eye and glaring at him, Sam stared back at her apologetically.

"I asked…" he said, Emily sighed at him but looked back at me with a small smile,

"I just need to get everything ready at the table" She said, I looked behind me but frowned, it was a small table.

"How…are we…?" I tried to speak but my voice just went quieter and quieter,

"Oh we aren't eating there! Too small, only three of these guys actually fit on the table, I was going to make it a buffet type of thing" Emily said grabbing a plate with some sort of casserole dish, she obviously caught on to what I was trying to say. I helped her grab some more dishes with piles of food; Sam came and helped as well. He has his eyes trailed on Emily just like Jared was doing with Kim earlier.

Emily was talking to me about the food; luckily all I had to do was nod and smile slightly to keep the conversation going, as she talked she placed everything on the table neatly, the food was in huge amounts. It looked like food fit for 100 people and it also looked delicious. Varies meats were scattered about, a huge salad bowl was near the side, lasagne and some type of pie seemed to be the main dish, steam piped out of everything making the house smell of freshly cooked food even more, the meal looked like it has taken hours and hours to make. Emily didn't seem fussed that it might have taken her half a day to prepare this. Finally we laid the plates and cutlery out and the table of food was ready, Kim and Jared wandered over to the table, Jared looked very eager. Kim quickly walked up to me with a smile, Emily stood near me looking very pleased with herself.

"Okay ladies first" Emily said, all the guys had come drifting to the table as well looking the same as Jared; they looked disappointed at Emily's words.

"Emily and I always get to pick the food first as the rest of them just devour everything" Kim explained to me, I nodded slightly feeling everyone's eyes on me as I picked up a plate, Emily and Kim already piled food on their plate, knowing that they wouldn't be able to come back for seconds. I followed suit taking large portions of salad and the non-meat food on the table, which there wasn't much of. Emily looked at me concerned,

"Are you are vegetarian?" She asked staring at my plate of non-meat products, I nodded,"I wish I knew! I wouldn't of made more food that you could eat" Emily said turning herself towards me, she looked guiltily at me, everyone waited for me to respond.

"Don't...worry, I'll be...fine" I managed to say, Kim added herself in the conversation,

"Eve's been a vegetarian ever since she was five" She said proudly, behind me I heard the guys mutter side comments,

"…I could never be a vegetarian…"

"…Love meat too much…"

"…How does she stand it..?"

I resisted a smile but didn't comment on their mutterings, I finished packing my plate with food and I followed Kim to one of the large sofas and heard Emily say loudly "Okay buffet open!" I heard one of the them make a sort of whoop sound and then lots of noise was made by the men as they picked up various bits of food and shuffled around the small table. Kim took no notice to the noise and began eating her large plate of food. Emily had drifted near us and began interrogating me questions about being a vegetarian, I replied without stuttering. I really liked Emily, she was so happy even with the scars on her face; she still took the world with a big grin. She reminded me of an older version of Kim, responsible, loyal, caring, lovable, all the good qualities a person needs. I could tell her and Kim were good friends.

I survived the night with no further problems, the food was superb and the guys ate everything in sight. I heard them squabbling over last bits of chicken wings and who had more food than who which was very amusing. I kept to myself and didn't strike conversation with anyone, Kim knew I was anxious being there so she made sure we left soon after we ate, everyone said goodbye to me and Kim, I kept my eyes to the floor praying for no final incidents.

'_I did it'_ I thought to myself smugly as me and Kim stepped outside to the fresh air.

'_I survived'_

* * *

**HI.**

**I know I've been sososososososososososooooooo oooooooooooo crap with this. It's been what? 2 months since I last updated. I'M SO SORRY TO WHO EVER ACTUALLY READS THIS, BUT loads of poop has happened butttttt. everything is okay now and I'm back on the wagon, so to speak.**

**I'm going to try and be faithful to this, I still have so many ideas for this story that I want to share with you guys, Eve has such an interesting past so stick with me and you'll find out (and no it is not something like she got beat up or her dad is an alcoholic, i dig deeper than that) **

**...but yeah sorry this Chapter was kinda boring, I kinda needed to add it in for extra flavor, if that makes sense? I'm thinking I will have a different POV just to keep the drama going- if there is any- in the next chapter annnnddd Eve kinda depresses me, I need to have a humorous character to write, Eve is very draining but I'll just stick with what I've got.**

**AND YEAH REVEIW PLS PLS PLS, that would be very kind and bring a big grin to my face :D**

**xoxo GOSSIP GURLLLL.**

**be back soon with another episode of clear thoughts after the break.**


	4. Wind's Hush

**4- Wind's Hush**

'_Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.'_

Embry POV-

'_Dude you missed like the best meal ever'_ Quil's voice echoed through my mind, I was padding along the tree's edges trying to catch on any unusual scents.

'_Every meal at Emily's is the best meal ever' _I thought hazily. I had just recently phased so I wanted to stretch my legs. The night was gentle, and all the other animals were in a quiet hush. The trees looked as if they could reach up into the dark sky. Everything was still, only the sounds of small owls could be heard and occasionally the wind would pick up making the leaves on the trees sway, it was only me, Quil and Jacob on patrol, just like the old times before everything turned into a horror movie.

Quil kept making remarks on my absence earlier in the night,

'_QuiI, I wanted to go but Mom knew I wasn't in bed last night so I got hell from her'_ I added grumpily, I heard a few thoughts come from Quil on the whole topic of my Mom but I ignored them and listened to Jacob instead, who was being quiet, I saw flashes of images of a brunette girl in his mind, he kept replaying them over and over again.

'_Still thinking about Bella Jacob?'_ I thought I heard Jacob growl, I knew if I was near enough to him he would probably try and hurt me. Quil joined in on the topic knowing how touchy Jacob was about her.

'_What's happened in the new episode of The Vampire Girl?'_ Quil asked mockingly, Jacob growled even louder and paced towards Quil, ready to strike him.

Long story short, Jacob was in love with a girl called Bella who was what Quil called '_the vampire girl_' She was involved with the bloodsuckers called the Cullen's even dated one of them but they finally left leaving boring Bella alone and now she was using Jacob as her rebound guy to actual have something interesting in her life.

Jacob caught onto the words 'boring' and 'rebound' from my thoughts and changed his movements onto me; I sidestepped out of his way. He growled again, his hackles were raised on his back, Quil coughed out a slight bark in humour. We all circled each other, the wind rushed around us,

'_Better be careful Embry, Jacob is on his period again'_ Quil thought, Jacob pounced at Quil with his claws out, Quil dodged him but Jacob caught the back end of Quil, tearing his fur, small amount of blood dripped out of him, Quil wasn't having this. He jumped on Jacob, growling loudly but Jacob was swift and moved out of his way just in time. Quil landed in the dirt, he then lashed out menacing thoughts to Jacob who was feeling pleased with himself.

'_Give it up Quil, you never win'_ I thought lazily, Quil growled again and carried on fighting Jacob, mentally and physically. I turned the other way and picked up my speed, I ran through the forest, I tried to ignore Quil and Jacobs's constant growls and threats, and I ran even faster, the forest turned into a wild blur around me. I thought of going back and trying to break them up as I usually do, but after tonight's events, I really didn't have the effort.

I slowed down thinking of what events unfolded tonight; I replayed what my Mom yelled at me earlier, remembering how I just stood there while she threw all her anger at me. I knew the pack was trying to talk Sam into letting my mom in on the secret but I didn't want to risk it, my mom was already a ticking time bomb, I don't want to see her when she explodes, it's bad enough that's she's already hates me.

I finally slowed myself down enough so that I was moving at a gradual pace; the skies were clearing up, bringing more light into the forest, making my eyes concentrate on the view around me.

Quil and Jacob's growls subsided eventually, and their thoughts reached me again.

'_I think Sam is thinking of talking to your Mom Embry'_ Jacob told me, picking up on my most recent thoughts, I sighed and made myself a mental note to talk to Sam again, to tell him not to.

'_Yeah we were talking about it tonight but you weren't there'_ Quil said to me, I didn't recoil at his words thought, I was still thinking about what to say to Sam,

'_Was Jared pissed?'_ I asked them, both of them reached me, Jacob russet coloured fur looking brighter now the sky cleared up a bit, Quil looked undamaged like nothing had even happened. They both looked at each other slightly,

'_Not really'_ Quil thought, quick images went through his mind, mainly his dinner but also images of the other people who were there at Emily's, Kim and her friend. _'Kim might angry at you though, you should of seen the way she was acting, it's as if she's imprinted on her friend, she was so protective, she almost bit Pauls head off for just talking to the girl.' _Quil thought, I saw Kim's glares in Quil's mind, Jacob was muttering, agreeing with Quil.

'_I don't think Kim will care that you weren't there Embry, I mean they rushed out of there pretty quickly after dinner, you could totally tell that her friend did not want to be there'_ Jacob thought, adding his thoughts in,

'_Talk about socially awkward' _Quil thought, making me and Jacob chuckle at his choice of words.

'_What? She was, nothing special either…looks like she is ready to crack …she smelt weird as well…' _Quil thought, though it looked like he was thinking to himself,

'_Stop being a prick Quil'_ Jacob said _'Kim told us about her'_ Jacob added shutting Quil up, I was just about to ask what Kim had said but I saw into Jacobs mind instead. I heard Kim's words, well Jared's words that Kim had told him

'_She's kinda in a rough patch at the moment, Kim just said she has had really rough past, she used to live in California but has been living with her Dad in Canada for the past two years, she's staying here for a month or so, Kim said it's best if we don't talk to her too much, she wants to be left alone apparently.' _Jared's words rang though our mind, obviously he had warned them all just before they arrived at Emily's, and it looks like his words were rushed out. I know Jared hate talking down about other people or even gossiping about them, even though he does it all the time, I then saw Emily's concerned face in Jacob's thoughts; her scars looked even more gruesome than they usually do.

'_Don't let Sam hear you thinking stuff like that' _Quil warned, I forgot momentarily that they could hear me. I knew it was too late; Sam would get that last line out of me somehow.

I didn't get a close up image of Kim's friend as Quil and Jared didn't properly looked at her at Emily's, it seemed their eyes had just slid off her when they met Kim's friend. All I could get from their thoughts was that she had short auburn hair.

'_This all means that Jared is going to be even more of a pain in the ass'_ Quil thought

_'If Kim's getting angry and distressed, it will reflect on Jared badly…stupid imprinting'_ Quil thought with distaste, me and Jacob agreed, we all had a bad view on imprinting. We went quite for a moment, all thinking, I briefly saw that Jacob wished that he had imprinted on Bella

'_Good thing he didn't'_ I thought very quietly, luckily Jacob didn't catch on to my words.

Imprinting was where us werewolves could 'imprint' on someone, when one of us finds someone he or she loves and is destined to be with, they get a feeling of love at first sight but more deeper and emotional, it means that they were meant to be with that person no matter what, always and forever. Quil and Jacob seemed irritated at my thoughts on the topic of imprinting.

'_Always and forever'_ Quil thought in a high pitch girly voice, me and Jacob laughed, us three and the others, who haven't imprinted, never took the matter seriously. We all thought that it made the ones who had imprinted weak but we tried not to think things like that around them. Quil and Jacob went back into their own mind setting after a while.

I ran a few more laps, letting the wind pulse through me, trying to get my mind clear again.

'_I might phase back guys' _I thought quietly although I knew they could hear me. I heard streams of protests coming from my friends.

'_If mom catches me again out past my curfew she'll probably lock the house down' _I added but this still didn't stop their angry complaints.

'_What if we find one of the bloodsuckers lurking around out here Embry?'_

'_How would you feel if one of us died on your behalf?'_

'_Okay, you know the guilt train doesn't work on me guys'_ I thought, cutting off Jacob's and Quil's thoughts.

'_Fine go'_ Quil thought sulkily.

'_You're such a drama queen Quil' _I thought hastily, I heard a slight grumble come out of him but knowing Quil he would probably make a show out of what I just said. I felt Quil and Jacob pacing closer towards me; I could hear their hesitant breaths getting louder and louder

Before Quil could reply though, I phased. The wind rushed quickly around me, causing the leaves of the floor to rustle against each other. I lifted my hind legs up slightly, closing my eyes. I felt the usual burn inside me as my body morphed back into a human. I remember how much I hated changing at first but now I am used to the strange sensation tingling throughout my body.

Once my two legs were planted firmly on the ground, I looked around and saw Quil and Jacob's figures near a tree ahead of me, they retreated slowly away, I was happy they couldn't hear me anymore. I quickly untied the shorts on my ankle and hoisted them on.

I checked the surroundings around me; I could hear the sound of the waves hitting rocks nearby. A jolt of recognition shot threw me at the noise, I was near the first beach.

I gently jogged my way out of the forest, smoothly and quickly. Soon I got out of the edge of the forest and walked out into the salty air of the beach. My eyes adjusted to the change of lighting, as there were a few street lamps dotted near some park benches, and the moon hanged low in the sky, above the waters shoreline. The moonlight reflected on the water, making the icy, black waters seem more graceful than it usually was. There was still a light breeze flowing through the waters but besides that everything was remaining still besides from the rocking of the water against the moonlight.

I knew I should go back home but I wanted to sit out by the beach, I used to do it all the time when I was younger, to get away from Mom when she went through her crazy stages. I blocked it incoming thoughts from my mind though and jogged up closer to the water, wanting a closer look at the beautiful view.

My mind was torn, my body wanted to stay but my mind knew I had to go back home. I knew it was well after the time my mom set me to be back, I thought of a few lame excuses that I could use but before I could develop them, I noticed a figure near the water's edge, I could just make out the outline to confirm it was a human.

Curiosity went through me, I wandered what I person would be doing out on the beach at this time of night. Finally, I went against my mother wishes and wandered out closer to the still figure gazing out into the water.

* * *

**wow. two days in a row i've updated this, I feel so proud right now**

**Yes this is kinda crumby chapter**

**Yes it's 2 41 am**

**and Yes I am exhausted**

**the things I do for you guys.**

**I am going to come back and edit this a bit later as this is more like a draft but I'm going home tomorrow woooo**

**soooooooooooo the next week is going to be a bitch from jet lag, I'll try update this more but I have exams and**

**blah blah blah**

**like I said i'll try**

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**Clear Thoughts might be taking a short break but we'll be back with you s**oon.


	5. Peace

**5- Peace**

_'The marks humans leave are too often scars.'_

Me and Kim were sitting on the sofa again, she had collapsed there after we had gotten back, I sat timidly next to her, Kim sighed and looked at me,

"That went...okay" Kim said, trying to judge my emotions. I could tell that she thought I had hated our little night out. I smiled at her though and Kim's scrutinizing gaze vanished,

"I enjoyed myself actually, haven't done anything like that in years.." I said thinking to myself, Kim smiled widely, happy that I didn't have an awful time like she thought I had,

"I'm glad" she replied quickly, "I know all the guys are a pain but you get used to them" Kim said with a shrug,

"Do you always hang out with them?" I asked curiously, Kim thought for a moment,

"I guess so" she said, I frowned at her,

"Didn't you have friends at school like girlfriends?" I asked, I remembered that when I used to be close to Kim, she had a few close friends, they were nice, I didn't see them that much as I only saw Kim during the summer holidays, her friends were always going off to some type of summer camp.

Kim frowned, "No" she said bluntly, I stared at her curiously again but noticed that I had upset her, my voice got stuck in my throat again, not knowing how to help the situation.

"After I met Jared I just stuck with him at school, my old friends thought that I had ditched them so they just ignored me, no matter what I said or did" Kim said sadly, I could almost saw a tear in her eye, I didn't know that Kim was even that close to her old friends, when I used to see her, Kim didn't speak about them very much.

"I'm sorry Kim" I said the only thing that I knew would help, or at least the only thing my brain had managed to come up with.

"It's okay, if someone said I had to choose between them and Jared, I would defiantly, 100%, pick Jared" she said in a determined tone, I smiled at her words, Kim was a very fierce girl at times.

"So when's the wedding?" I asked jokingly, Kim stared at me in apparent shock, my smile faltered, "What?" I asked confused, Kim quickly looked away, she seemed embarrassed.

"Sorry, it's just..." her voice trailed off, but she coughed and started speaking again "you would of said that before, you know, when you used to come here" she said to me, her eyes would not reach mine.

"Oh" I said, of course, back in my pre teenage years I would of found the whole Kim and Jared thing very amusing, even now I still occasionally portray my old self.

"Isn't that I good thing?" I asked timidly, I had shut my mind and thoughts off again. Kim smiled widely,

"Yes! It is just that I was surprised that's all" Kim said to me brightly, "I'm glad that you're getting back to normal" Kim said, I immediately winced at the words, and some how it broke me.

I gasped slightly, shutting my eyes tightly, I could hear Kim talk to me, she sounded panicky, but it sounded fuzzy.

Screams filled my mind.

Pain filled my mind.

I gasped louder and louder, trying not to scream, soon I pushed my thoughts out of me. I remembered all the techniques my Dad taught me. I quickly opened my eyes and saw Kim staring at me in shock and horror.

"Shit" I muttered, normally I don't swear but this time it seemed appropriate. "I'm...I'm sorry Kim" I said, she was still staring at me.

Kim took a deep breath and after a long moment she spoke "It's...it's okay, both you and your dad did warn me" Kim said with a shrug, I could tell that she was trying to downplay the whole thing trying to make me feel better.

"No Kim I really am, I rarely get those during the day, it's strange" I explained, I felt extremely embarrassed. She looked concerned and she still kept staring at me in slight pity but Kim smiled a moment later.

"Well at least it happened with just me around, I don't know how the guys would react.." Kim said thoughtfully, I nearly cracked a smile at her, I took this slight change of conversation to my advantage.

"So tell me about your friends then, I mean who's who?" I asked politely,

"There's a lot of them" Kim warned to me, "I always get them mixed up, they all look the same to me" Kim said smiling, I quietly agreed with her and I nodded at Kim and she took that as a good enough response,

"Well there's Paul- you met him, he's bad tempered and unpleasant, umm...Quil, extremely smart but an ass, then... Jacob, he's nice, I haven't talked to him much though...umm.. ah Embry, he wasn't there tonight but he's quite well...I don't really know, he's kinda like Jacob...I think. Him Quil and Jacob are all best friends" Kim told me with a sheepish sort of smile, I nodded again and she carried on "...then Sam, he's very friendly, he's like the older figure in the group" Kim said, thinking hard.

"Then there is Jared..." I said, shaking her out of her reverie, Kim blushed immediately.

"Yes" she said bluntly, I smiled at her reaction,

"He seems like your perfect guy Kim" I said to her, showing my approval. I really did like Jared, first impression wise, I was frightened of him because of how big he was but when I saw his friendly grin, I knew that Kim had chosen well. Kim blushed again, she muttered something, and then spoke up,

"I'm really happy he saw me" She said, I looked at her confused, Kim started laughing, I was even more confused.

"C'mon, don't you remember me always pestering on about that popular guy in my year who I had a crush on" Kim said trying to remind me of a previous conversation. I thought hard and then remembered the old days when Kim was always blabbing about a guy, but I didn't pick up on a specific name.

"Are you telling me that was Jared?" I asked quite shocked at her luck, Kim nodded quickly,

"Wow, I swear you kept saying how he was invisible to you and you had never talked to him?" I asked her, Kim nodded again with a grin on her face.

"He didn't even know my name and then...I guess he noticed me" She said but I got a strange feeling that Kim was hiding something from me, she was always terrible at lying.

"Anyway, do you want to watch a movie?" she asked, changing the subject. I nodded and she got up and dug around for some dvd's.

"Kim" I said quietly with an idea in my mind, she turned around,

"Yeah?" she asked,

"after the movie can I got to the beach for a bit?" I asked her nervously, Kim frowned ever so slightly,

"On your own?" she asked seeming concerned, I nodded

"Yes, I wouldn't mind some time alone...I have a phone...dad gave it to me" I explained, "plus I have always loved the beach here" I added. Kim nodded and sat next to me with a bunch of dvd's in her lap.

"Sure, I bet you have missed the beach, your Dad lives on a mountain and we used to always go there back when you used to come here" Kim said with a sweet smile.

"Yeah" I softly replied, "I'll walk up there then do you think you can pick me up?" I asked her as sweetly as possible, Kim could tell I was trying too hard. She laughed,

"Sure" she said, "just text me when you want me to come...I might have jared come over..." Kim said thoughtfully, she looked at me. "If that's okay...I mean...I've seen him a lot today..." she rushed out nervously,

"Kim, that's fine" I quickly said to her, she shut up and looked down at the dvd's in her lap,

"Right, so what do you want to watch?" she asked me, we got in a discussion about the dvd's.

We spent the next couple of hours watching March of the Penguins, which was a very interesting movie, I was very warped into it. Kim was sobbing next to me when the baby penguins died but I kept telling her that it was nature taking it's course, she just cried harder, it soon ended leaving Kim in a mess,

"And here I was thinking that the movie was going to be like Happy Feet" Kim said in defeat, I smiled remembering when we watched Happy Feet years ago, it's hard to remember but I do remember Kim sobbed through that as well. I didn't say anything to Kim though, Kim yawned loudly and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She began texting someone, she quickly looked at me. I slowly got the dvd out of the dvd player and put it back in it's box,

"You sure you'll be okay walking up? Do you still remember the way?" Kim asked concerned,  
"You just walk forwards then turn left, once you get to the shop?" I asked, thinking hard, trying to remember the way to the beach from when I was last here.

"Make sure you don't turn left to early" Kim said to me, I nodded at her,

"You're lucky it's not raining" Kim added, I laughed very quietly.

I slowly pulled on my coat, that was on the sofa and took care getting up, Kim's hands were gently pushing me upwards. I felt like an old person who has no energy getting up,

"Okay" I said, patting my coat pockets for my phone, "I'll text you soon" I said to Kim, she nodded at me but was in the middle of texting someone, that someone was probably Jared,

"See you later" I said, walking out of the door.

The air was cold, I felt a rush of wind whisk me around the face, my ears froze up. I cuddled myself against my coat more, trying to warm my body up. I took care walking. I crept slowly down the road. the sky was fairly clear as all the clouds were gathered in bunches. The moon was hidden behind the clouds, making it hard for me to see my way, but there was a few street lights that made the road slightly dim enough for me to follow.

I focused only on my way to the beach, all I could hear was the sounds of animals from the forest that was surrounding the La Push area.

I drifted along by making sure I was going to right way, I began to hear the sound of waves and I knew I was very close, I quickened my pace, eager to see the shore.

I past the shop and soon reached the benches on the edge of the beach, the moon was still hidden behind the clouds but a gleam of it hit the sea and made the darkness of the ocean seem calmer and more peaceful. I slowly walked towards the beach, the wind had died down, my ears picked up more animal noises, mainly the cries of wolves but I took no notice of it, I was hypnotized by the sound of the ocean. I slid my boots and socks off carefully and slowly walked onto the beach, the sand brushed against my toes, I took a deep breath and carried on walking. I got near the water and slowly sat down, I took another deep breath and gazed to the sea again, the moon was starting to peak out from the clouds, I watched the clouds slowly move, thinking of nothing.

I was at peace finally, in a place I would think not peaceful at all, I still pushed the thoughts away from me but I felt a jolt in my stomach, I was happy.

I was happy, something I had no been in a long time.

I was at peace.

Finally.

* * *

**bonjourrrrrr**

**this is another sort of blah blah blah BLAAHHH one but the next chapter I promise some fluffy moments- as if you have been reading this throughout you will know what is going to happen or if you just are randomly reading this chapter then.**

**you suck.**

**just kidding (not)**

**err**

**might be some errors in here as I couldn't be bothered to read through it 24094093073 times**

**you do realise I have a massive exam tomorrow? and this is what I'm doing, writing fan fiction.**

**I feel sad.**

**ANYHO**

**enjoy and REVWIWIWIWIWIWIIEIEIEIWIWIWI REVEIW. kay bai**

**coming up on Clear Thoughts...DRAMA BOMBS.**

**xoxo**


	6. Blunt Words

**6- Blunt Words**

_"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." _

Time flied by.

I kept my eyes on the water as the moon was slowly peaking through the clouds because of this, the sea was lightning up.

My hair fluttered around my ears, making me feel slightly nervous. I closed my eyes gently and listened to the waves brush against the shore, I smiled in content. The noise of the waves got louder and louder, I concentrated on the noise, my ears focused only on the waves, my muscles began to relax and lock into place. I felt slightly numb.

"Are you okay?" a gentle voice asked me, bringing me back to reality, I kept my eyes closed though and I heard footsteps come closer to me.

"You're not having a fit are you?" the voice asked me, his voice was now closer to me, it sounded like a man.

I smirked slightly, thinking if I was having a fit, he wouldn't sound so gentle.

I gently opened my eyes and saw only his legs next to me, I didn't bother to try reach my eyes to his as I could tell it was one of Kim's huge friends.

"No" I said to him quietly, I was quite disgruntled that he interrupted my peaceful silence. He put his hands in his pockets, I looked up at him slightly, I saw his bare chest which I stared at in shock,

"Aren't...you cold...?" I asked him quietly, I tore my eyes away from him. I couldn't carry on speaking as my voice got stuck in my throat again.

He chucked lightly at my question,

"I have a warm heart" he said in humor, I nearly smiled but didn't reply to his words. I was waiting for him to leave. There was a brief moment of silence.

"So what are you doing here alone at this time of night?" He asked me sounding slightly concerned at me being alone here. I sighed quietly, he didn't realize that he had asked me quite a personal question.

"The usual" I said bluntly, I was trying to drive him a way.

"What? Drugs?" he asked me bluntly, I tried not to laugh at him and I kept a stern facial expression on my face.

"No" I replied with no other comments,

"Are you always so mysterious?" he asked me curiously. My temper got the better of me,

"Are you always so rude?" I snapped suddenly, I immediately regretted my words. A long period of silence fell between us again.

I opened my mouth to speak but failed. I tried again,

"I...err...I'm sorry" I said, trying to sound sincere. His feet shuffled against the sand,

"I guess I shouldn't of been so...so blunt" he said, trying to get the right word out of him. I smiled without meaning to, I decided to try and tell him part of the truth,

"I came here to see the sea" I said clearly, I was surprised I didn't stutter when I spoke, I managed to carry on my words,

"I like the sound of the... waves" I said slowly, trying not to sound like a lunatic even though I knew I was. I felt his body sit next to mine, I shuffled slightly away from him by force of habit, though he took no notice. I kept my eyes on the sea still.

"me too" he said to me quietly, questions filled my mind on what he was still doing here, why he was talking to me and why he wasn't wearing a shirt but I knew I would never ask him these questions.

My body shook slightly in nerves, the only people that I was comfortable being alone with was my Dad and Kim.

I sat there, practically paralyzed, staring out into the distance. I could feel the heat radiating from his chest, I stirred slightly in annoyance and I sighed slightly.

"When I was little I used to come down here every night" he said, breaking the silence. "I used to sit here for hours just...listening." he said happily. I was shocked that he was revealing a part of his childhood to a random stranger,

"Do you always say this to random girls you find on the beach?" I asked him, shaking out of my usual character,

_'that's twice now' _ I thought to myself, I was showing a side of my true self so I quickly closed off all my thoughts and feelings as I regularly did.

I heard him laugh loudly at my remark,

"I only do this when I'm tired" he said with a slight chuckle, I frowned at his words, it wasn't extremely late at night, why is he tired?

"...I guess I get a confidence boost" he explained to me.

The moon finally came out from the clouds, it's light reflected onto the sea, making everything look black and white around me. I stared at the sea captivated by it's new change of colour. The sudden change in wind speckled water onto my body making me feel cold.

I still felt extremely uncomfortable with him next to me but I didn't say anything, I blocked the thoughts that were compressing itself into my mind.

"I love it when it's a full moon" I said without realizing that I spoke out loud, I mentally kicked myself for speaking. I had been staring at the white orb for a long time now. I felt his face turn to me but I still refused to look at him. He chuckled and looked at the moon again,

"Shame that it's cloudy though, the stars are my favorite part of nighttime" he mused quietly, I silently agreed with him as I felt that the stars made everything look more hopeful, that millions of people were looking out at them with their dreams and praying or wishing for it to come true.

And then we sat there, it was one of the most oddest experiences in my life.

We sat watching the moonlight on the sea and listening to the waves. On a few occasions I tried to speak, thinking of ways to make him leave me and let me be alone but the words wouldn't leave my mouth.

The cold wind picked up again, I looked at the man's chest again wondering how he wasn't shivering, I was starting to shiver and I was wearing a thick coat.

I didn't feel awkward though, I felt uncomfortable but not awkward around him.

The whole time we sat there, he didn't move much just sitting there with his hands on the sand unlike me, I sat there with my arms around me in a vulnerable position.

The air was full of noises from animals in the forest but my ears only listened to the sea, and after a while I felt my phone buzz and momentarily I had completely forgot about texting Kim. I had no idea what the time was and I had no idea what Kim was thinking. I rustled around my coat and pulled out my phone, I even nearly forgot that I was sitting next to a random stranger.

I could feel his eyes on me when I read Kim's text, the time was only 10pm but I knew Kim was starting to get worried, so I immediately texted her back saying I was ready to leave.

I knew Kim would only take a few minuets so I started to get up, I saw the man turn in surprise,

"I guess that text was your cab driver?" He asked me, I quickly nodded,

"Sleep waits for no one" I quoted quietly, but he heard me,

"Surly it's death, instead of sleep, _'death waits for no one'_ ?" he asked, I winced slightly but he noticed so he didn't press on, he didn't wait for a reply.

I pulled myself up extremely slowly, he was watching me so I made my face expressionless rather than in pain.

I felt my pockets making sure my phone hadn't slipped out, and the man stood up as well,

"Sorry if I offended you about the death quote thing" he said to me suddenly, I looked up to face without meaning to but he had his eyes averted to the moon again, which had disappeared again.

The moon was gone and it was too dark to see any detail, he looked like every single one of Kim's guy friends put together but different somehow, I looked away quickly glad the moon wasn't there to show me what he truly looked like. As I stupidly felt drawn to him enough already.

I stuttered something but then shook my head and walked slowly away from him, trying to walk as straight and normal as possible. I felt his footsteps catch up to me,

"I'll see you off, wouldn't want you meeting any random men this time of night" he said with humor, he seemed very confident in his words. His slowed his pace so it matched mine and we walked to the road, the streetlight was flickering on and off, I saw him look at the light thoughtfully,

"That light has always been doing that, ever since I can remember" he told me, I thought this unfair of him, telling me his childhood recollections so I decide that it was only fair of me to tell him something about me from when I was younger.

"I used to be scared...when lights did that...as my brother used to say it was evil spirits warning me" I said as confidently as possible, the man seemed amused,

"warning you of what?" he asked curious, I nearly didn't reply to him but I changed my mind in a matter of seconds.

"that if I din't let my brother eat my homemade cookies then they would kill me" I said quickly, smiling at the memory, it was so long ago.

He laughed loudly at this,

"And did you?" he asked,

"No" I said to him bluntly, he laughed again, and I soon saw Kim's parents car trundle down the road, I got my phone out again and checked the time.

"So this is where we part ways" the man said, I nodded feeling slightly awkward for the first time, and I watched the car stop in front of me, Kim waved at me, I didn't think that she could see the other figure standing near me to me.

"Bye I guess" I said softly, I walked ahead quickly, eager to get into the warm car and see a familiar face,

"hey sea girl!" he grabbed my attention, I stopped my tracks and felt him rush over to me, before I could turn around he spoke,

"What's your name?" he asked me kindly, I almost carried on walking but went against this whim and I turned around. My eyes reached his.

"Eve" I breathed out softly, the headlights of the car showed his face perfectly against the light.

I hesitated at the sight of him, his eyes made everything seem to stop, but I quickly turned away and rushed into the car leaving the man standing there with his mouth open.

As I got into the car, Kim smiled at me but seemed confused, so she immediately asked me the obvious question.

"Why was Embry there with you?", I quickly turned to see, the man called Embry, still standing there and he had an odd expression on his face. I shrugged and Kim took that as the closest answer she was going to get out of me currently.

We quickly drove off, and I fell back into my seat feeling defeated.

"It's been a weird night" I said in a reproachful voice.

_'Embry has the most beautiful eyes I have ever laid eyes on'_ I thought as Kim babbled on, I couldn't lie to myself even though I wanted to.

I was captivated by him just like I was when the moon reflecting on the sea.

And I hated him for it.

* * *

**W00P I have been writing cray cray, I mean two updates in two days, jeesh my hand hurts from all the typing.**

**but I did it for you guys even though no one reads this (hello no one)**

**so**

**WATCHA THANK?**

**I really liked writing Eve and Embry's conversation, they are so different yet so alike as deep down Embry is like Eve on the outside and deep down Eve is like Embry on the outside, IT'S LIKE INCEPTION.**

**alssosososoososos I am thinking of doing this chapter again but in Embry's prospective yeshhhhh? nooo?**

**SO YEH REVEVEVVEVEVEVEVEIIIWIWIWIWI WIWIIWIW REVIEW PLS, every review brings a smile on mah face :D**

**Clear Thoughts is coming up straight after the break...**

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**cassidy- . . . . . like for realz I was so happy, as you were my first reviewer :) I defiantly will update a lot! I don't think you know how much I enjoy writing this, I have a huge idea for this that I really want to share with everyone who is prepared to read. Yes :( I know that it has gotten little reviews or followers but I am still going to carry on because I know someone in the end is going to read this. BUT THANK Q. xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxox you are awesome**

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	7. Change of Heart

**7- Change of Heart**

_"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment._

Embry POV-

I advanced towards the figure that was frozen by the sea's edge, my ears picked up the crash of the waves on the shore.

My mind kept wanting me to go home and sleep but something was drawing me towards to sea's edge.

As I got closer and closer, I saw a hunched up girl sitting there with her arms around her, her eyes were tightly shut.

Curiosity burned through me.

I could hear the crunch of my feet on the sand and I waited for the girls eyes to open from me approaching her but they remained shut. I decided to make my presence even more clearer,

"Are you okay?" I asked her as nicely as possible, I was yearning to know what she was doing out here alone. The moon was still behind the clouds so I couldn't get a proper look at her either.

She remained still, as if she hadn't heard me, her eyes stayed tightly shut. I thought she had something wrong with her, or she was having a mental breakdown or something,

"You're not having a fit are you?" I voiced my worries out loud. The girl smirked slightly as if the idea of her having a fit was amusing to her, I saw her eyes open slowly, I had a feeling that they had been shut for hours.

The girl was covered in layers of dark clothing; she had a dark shadow across her face, it was almost like she was hiding herself, like she didn't want to draw attention to herself. The only thing that stood out was her layered short hair that angled her face and made her look strong, her hair kept being blown about by the wind.

Her eyes darted to my legs and then moved themselves back to the sea again, she looked slightly annoyed.

"No" she said clearly and quietly, I raised my eyebrows at her voice, it had a slight southern, country drawl to it but it sounded subsided and rough.

I put my hands in my pockets, not sure on what to say next, it looked as if I had just interrupted something very important.

Her head titled upwards and saw my lack of clothes, she looked very surprised,

"Aren't...you cold...?" the girl asked even more quietly, she looked like she was trying to swallow something in her throat, I just brushed it aside as nerves.

I chucked at her question as I knew I never cold,

"I have a warm heart" I said to her, dodging the question slightly, I tried to make her feel like I wasn't a random, creepy stranger. She looked kinda dazed but didn't reply to my words.

Silence filled the air once again.

I finally decided to ask her what was really on my mind,

"So what are you doing here alone at this time of night?" I asked trying to sound more concerned than curious, when actually it was the other way round. The girl sighed and thought for a moment, I didn't understand why she seemed so distressed,

"The usual" she finally said bluntly, I nearly laughed at her blunt words but I was starting to get agitated, she was making me feel like I was on the edge of my seat watching some sort of thriller.

I decided to voice my own theories,

"What? Drugs?" I asked more curious, this girl sat there with a stern expression on her face, she didn't seem amused.

"No" she said, I nearly sighed but restrained myself from doing so.

"Are you always so mysterious?" I asked her, the words accidentally slipped out of my mouth and I knew what I said was a bad choice of words.

"Are you always so rude?" she suddenly snapped at me, I was surprised by her changed of emotions. I fell silent, replaying my earlier words in my head, I was being rude to her.

I nearly said sorry but she got there before me,

"I...err...I'm sorry" she said, sounding more calmer than before. I was stumped on how to reply, I felt speechless for a moment, I shuffled my feet slightly, and finally managed to speak.

"I guess I shouldn't of been so...so blunt" I said, my voice crackled slightly in nerves but I didn't think she noticed. I was very confused at why I felt so nervous, I was beginning to loose my touch.

The girl then smiled at my words, my mouth went dry and her rare smile. I stood there frozen, her smile made her face work in a different way, there was no longer a dark shadow filling her face, it was like staring at a different person.

"I came here to see the sea" she said clearly, her smile faded slightly, but I kept staring at her in thought.

"I like the sound of the... waves" she added, I raised my eyebrows in surprise but I was glad that I knew the reason why she came here; my curiosity was finally satisfied.

I decided to settle myself down next to her, I wanted to find out more about this odd girl, the girl moved slightly away from me as I sat down, and she kept her eyes planted on the sea.

"me too" I replied, the girl sighed but I tried not to notice and I carried on speaking after a moment of silence.

"When I was little I used to come down here every night" I said, breaking the silence. "I used to sit here for hours just...listening." Memories filled my mind, childhood memories mostly, mainly memories of me being here alone after leaving my mom when she was having a 'bad' day. I noticed that I sounded happy but they were actually sad memories of mine.

"Do you always say this to random girls you find on the beach?" she asked me, I immediately started laughing at her blunt question, I knew that I was being quite open to her.

"I only do this when I'm tired" I replied, I was speaking the truth, my body was exhausted. Soon I would probably pass out from being so tired.

I saw the girl frown at my words and I decided to to explain my weird mood a bit better, I could almost hear unanswered questions coming from her mind.

"...I guess I get a confidence boost" I explained, I opened my mouth the explain more about the stages of tiredness but the girl looked slightly uninterested, she was still looking out into the sea, frozen in her vulnerable position.

I looked out to the sea as well, the moon had come out from the clouds changing the sea's colours, and the scenery around me, it felt like I was watching a black and white movie. The wind speckled water on my chest, but I took no notice, we were both captivated by the beautiful view.

"I love it when it's a full moon" the girl quietly said, sounding out of her usual character, I turned to look at her but she was still refusing to look at me, I chuckled slightly and turned my face away from her.

"Shame it's cloudy though, the stars are my favorite part of nighttime" I added looking up to the dark sky. She didn't reply to my words, I looked at the moon again.

And then we sat there in silence.

My mind went into a numb state, I wasn't thinking of anything, I just stared at the moon. I thought that I was in an odd situation, I was surprised that the girl hadn't asked me to leave or the fact she didn't speak for the long amount of time we sat there. I felt comfortable though, time went by quickly.

A phone buzz shook both of us out of our trance, the girl quickly felt her coat pockets and pulled out a small cellphone, I watched her delicate hands type a message to someone, I was curious but I knew if I looked at who she was texting then I would be crossing the line to borderline creeper.

The girl began to get up, I was caught of guard for a moment, I turned in surprise. I had no idea what the time was but I guessed she was going home,

"I guess that text was your cab driver?" I asked her, my voice sounded slightly rough from not speaking. The girl quickly nodded,

"Sleep waits for no one" she said extremely quietly, but I caught on to her words.

"Surely it's death, instead of sleep, _'death waits for no one'_ ?" I asked, thinking of the quote, the girl immediately winced, it seemed that I touched some sort of nerve of hers.

I fell silent, regretting my previous words.

The girl stood up, my hearing picked up on a strange sound coming from her, it sounded like bones clicking together, her face looked expressionless though, I thought it was just my ears playing up from me being so tired.

I stood up lost for words on what to say to her, I was still stressing about what I had said to her,

"Sorry if I offended you about the death quote thing" I said weakly, I knew that it was a lame apology.I hated the fact that I spoke without thinking, I always seem to do it.

I averted my eyes to the moon again, feeling slightly nervous for some reason, I was worried that this girl hated me.

I heard the girl try and say something, all I heard was a few words but then suddenly she walked off. I turned in surprise and then I quickly catched up to her,

"I'll see you off, wouldn't want you meeting any random men this time of night" I said to her humorously to help ease the walked down to the end of the road together, my eyelids kept drooping shut, I mentally slapped myself to try and keep me awake.

When we got to the pavement, we both glanced at the flickering lamp from across the road,

"That light has always been doing that, ever since I can remember" I told her, the girl was quite for a moment, I thought she wasn't going to reply,

"I used to be scared...when lights did that...as my brother used to say it was evil spirits warning me" she said confidently, I smiled at her words,

"warning you of what?" I asked her curiously, I was glad we finally had a conversation rolling,

"that if I din't let my brother eat my homemade cookies then they would kill me" she replied, I saw her mouth curl into a smile, she seemed happy at the memory. I laughed loudly at this,

"And did you?" I asked, still laughing slightly,

"No" she said bluntly, I laughed again, she sure didn't like to delve into things. I heard a car coming from the other end of the road, soon I saw a black car pull up near us.

"So this is where we part ways" I said, not sure how to say goodbye to this girl. She nodded and looked towards the driver, I looked in the same direction.

My body jolted slightly in recognition, it was Kim in the car, I was extremely confused. Why would Kim, Jared's girlfriend, be picking this girl up? Unless...

Before I had time to think the girl said goodbye to me quickly and walked to the car.

"hey sea girl!" I called out to her, I was sure I now knew who the girl was. She stopped her tracks and I rushed over to her,

"What's your name?" I asked her as kindly as possible, I was certain I knew who she was, the girl quickly turned around and looked up to my face, looked up to my eyes.

It felt like my heart stopped, it felt like the whole world had stopped, I went completely numb. All my loathing went away, all my frustration, any negative feelings that I had been feeling floated away. A glowing heat filled inside me, her hazel eyes dug their way into my eyes, into my soul. Nothing mattered but her. I could suddenly feel pain, lots of it, I nearly gasped out loud but my body was paralyzed.

"Eve" she breathed out to me, making me go even more crazy, her lips slowly shaped out her name, I stood there transfixed at the beautiful sight of her. My heart was beating fast, I was on the verge of begging her not to leave but to stay with me, but Eve quickly turned away from me and ran into the car.

I stood there with my mouth wide open, my mind was still racing, I was tempted to run after

her but the car zoomed off and I just stood there, I soon felt incomplete with out her, I wanted to be with her again.

I was in a dilemma of what to do, I could go home, or go after her, or go back into the forest and find Jacob and Quil. I thought the last idea was the best thing to do.

I sprinted full speed into the forest, thinking hard. While running into the forest, I changed. My body could barely feel the ripping of my bones, my mind was racing. I soon heard Jacob and Quil's grumbling but I took no notice.

_I just imprinted. _I thought out loud.

* * *

**SO HO HO.**

**Ohkay, this took quite a lot of effort, turns out that it was much harder to write this chapter than it looks.**

**FINALLY I HAVE UPDATED WOO, sorry if I took too long, I've sort of been doing this day by day, bit by bit, along with all my mock exams, so feel proud my faithful readers, I am making an effort (which is strange for me) **

**WHAT DID YOU THINK THEN DUDES? **

**Did I make the whole imprinting this too cheesy? I tried not to, also**

**Did I make Embry sound like a guy, I have no idea what guys think (obviously) so I just tried not to make him think into things to much, gah.**

**THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO HAVE REVIEWED AND FOLLOWED ECT, YOU GET 10000000 COOL POINTS.**

**so yeah, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW, you get the picture.**

**xoxo gossip gurl, hehehehehehe**

**New chapter of Clear Thoughts coming up next after the break.**


	8. Wild Demon

**Chapter 8- Wild Demon**

_'If I got rid of my demons, I'd lose my angels.'_

I laid in bed thinking, thinking hard,

Thinking was something that I wasn't used to doing.

I heard Kim move about in the bedroom next to mine, I knew she was confused as I was about what happened tonight.

I had sworn to myself that I was only going to focus on me and Kim's friendship, rebuilding it again. And I would focus on nothing else

But I wasn't just focusing on this, I kept thinking about _him._

I squirmed in my bed slightly, in annoyance.

The events that unfolded me tonight, infuriated me.

I hated him.

I hated his guts.

I knew that feeling these harsh emotions was not good for me, but part of me was happy I was feeling something, the other half...not so much.

I glanced at the clock.

_10.54pm_

I sighed slightly, my eyes were beginning to droop shut, but I kept them open, my back moaned slightly from me tossing around so much.

I knew my brain was too wired up for sleep so I decided to keep myself occupied until I was exhausted enough for sleep. I leaned up, my back cracking slightly from the new change of stance, and I took three deep breaths like my dad told me to do. I slowly pulled my legs to the end of the bed.

I glanced around my untouched room, quietly thinking to myself. The moonlight was glowing through my half shut curtains. I quickly paddled over to the bookshelf, next to the window, and glanced at the books. I recognized a few of the books, (they weren't mine, they were Kim's) and I grabbed a classic.

My eyes caught something through the gap of the window. I frowned slightly, and walked closer; my eyes ached from the brightness of the moon. With the book still clutched in my hand, I used my other hand to open to curtain a bit more. At first all I saw was Kim's back yard, and then my eyes focused on the trees surrounding Kim's house.

And I saw _something._

My body had frozen in fear, a dark shape was on the edge of Kim's backyard. My hand remained on the curtain, unwilling to move, I took a deep breath and stared out at the figure that was there.

It looked like some sort of animal, it hid underneath the shadows of the forest, I remained still; unsure on what to do

The dark figure was standing still and facing towards me, it looked huge. My eyes locked with the creature, I felt sense of familiarity for a second but then fear took over.

My hands started shaking, I knew soon my whole body would start shaking. I tore my eyes away from the beast, with my heart beating fast. I shut the curtains quickly and stood there, with sweaty palms.

My body was reacting badly from this large change of emotion, I had a feeling things would get ugly, my brain was thinking too much.

I couldn't stop thinking.

I needed to stop thinking.

I heard a loud snore come from Kim's room and decided to do the most sensible thing.

Go to Kim.

I was glad that I finally had a plan of action, I took a deep breath and hurried out of the room. Kim's hallway was dark and silent as I hurried to her room, trying to remain as quite as possible.

I saw Kim laid out on her bed, breathing heavily, fast asleep. I smiled slightly, at her cute, vulnerable position, she still looked the same as she did years ago.

I felt sad about disrupting her sleep, but I could feel the thoughts fighting their way to me. I walked quietly up to her, and leaned down and shoved her awake. I had to shove her a few times but soon her eyes fluttered open, I saw her give a quick look at me. Kim rustled about a bit, her eyes began to close again.

"Kim" I said as loudly and clearly as possible, I heard Kim moan slightly, I sighed but shoved her again.

"What?" She said gruffly, her voice sounded thick with sleep, her eyes opened again.

"umm..." I didn't really know how to tell her something was wrong, I thought for a moment,

"There's something outside" I said, trying to sound brave, but I knew to her I sounded weak and scared.

Kim opened her eyes some more, she was staring to wake up.

"What is it?" she asked, more clearly.

"I don't know, it looks like some kind of beast..." I said frightened. I was going to say that it looked like some kind of demon but I knew Kim wouldn't take me seriously, Kim didn't have the same beliefs as me.

Kim stared at me, not in a sarcastic way, but in a serious way.

"Where is it?" she asked concerned, I took another breath,

"I don't know...I don't care Kim...it...it..just...I think it made me crack slightly" I said in nerves, Kim looked surprised and then concerned again.

"Where is it?" she repeated, I hesitated but then made myself speak,

"your back yard...but by the edge of the forest" I said, scared. Kim muttered something but I didn't catch on to what she said. I looked at her nervously, Kim looked slightly angry; I had no idea why.

"Are you sure you don't want me to check it out?" she asked me, I quickly shook my head, my whole body was still shaking.

"Can I...I...stay with you tonight?" I asked timidly, I had a feeling that if I went back to my room the demon would still be outside, although I did not say this to Kim.

Kim smiled at me, looking gleeful, "Sure! It will be like old times" she said happily, I nodded slightly and slowly got under the covers, I took care getting in bed and got relaxed.

"You okay now?" Kim asked me after a long pause, I could feel my body relaxing and my mind shutting off, I murmured a yes.

"Eve?" Kim's tentative voice asked, I turned my head slightly to look at her, her body was layered in covers.

"Yeah?" I replied, my vision was starting to go blurry.

"What happened on the beach?" she asked curiously, I inwardly sighed but didn't express my distress out loud, I really didn't want to think about him again.

"umm...one of your friends talked to me, I guess he didn't like the fact I was sitting on the beach alone" I said half heartedly, Kim looked at me in concern but didn't reply so after a moment I closed my eyes from exhaustion. After a few minutes of silence Kim's voice rang through my ears.

"Eve, did you look at him?" she asked me, if I wasn't so tired I would of turned my head to her in confusion but my mind was already half asleep, so I took no notice to the unusual question.

I mumbled a yes, and my mind briefly showed me his emerald eyes and I fell asleep in content.

* * *

**hola.**

**Yes, this is kinda short and I apologise, I wasn't going to even bother adding this in to the ****story but I thought that it might be important later.**

**This has been one of the hardest chapters I have written so farrrrrrrr -.- I have no idea why but I really could not be bothered to write this chapter. **

**D:**

**BUT hopefully my lack of energy will change when I begin writing chapter 9.**

**Once again THANK YOU TO ALL YOU AWESOME PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED, FAVED, FOLLOWED ECT. **

**I don't think you realise how much this means to me, it's what gives me the effort to make me carry this lame story on :)**

**SO WATCHA THANK? please give me critique, I do not mind as I feel it will make me a better writer, blaugh.**

**SO YEAH REVEIIIIWWW DUDESSSSSSSS :DDD**

**xoxo**

**After a short advert break, Clear Thoughts will be resuming! **


	9. Unexpected Guests

**Chapter 9- Unexpected Guests**

_'Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.'_

Voices woke me up, loud voices.

I tousled about in bed slightly from my disturbed sleep, I could feel a bright light on my face. I strained my eyes open and saw Kim had opened the curtains; my ears began to pick up on the voices coming from the other room.

"...tell him not to come near her!" Kim's voice screeched loudly, I frowned in confusion. My brain was beginning to wake itself up,I heard another voice but couldn't catch on what they said, it sounded like Jared- Kim's boyfriend.

"...I don't care! Eve doesn't need to deal with this!" Kim screamed, I laid there even more confused than I was before.

"Kim you know he...have a choice" Jared's voice was quieter, it was harder to pick up on what he was saying as Jared sounded calmer than Kim. I leaned up slightly but then winced slightly in pain, I sighed but then moved into a sitting position, ignoring the pain. I heard more raised voices then I heard a loud door slam, Kim groaned loudly in desperation.

I quickly stood up and regained my balance slightly, I then approached the door.

The house was quiet, I crept down the hallway into the main room, the floorboards were cold making me shiver. I saw Kim sitting on the sofa, it sounded like she was muttering to herself. I slowly walked to the sofa, though Kim seemed too absorbed in her own thoughts to hear me approaching her.

"Morning" I said as brightly and as confidently as I could. Kim's head whipped round and her eyes reached mine, she smiled but her face looked very distressed. I spoke before she even had time to reply to me.

"Is everything okay? I heard shouting?" I asked her, concerned, I was more curious than concerned though. Kim's smile faltered and she looked at me sadly.

"Me and Jared had a disagreement" She said to me cryptically.

"I'm sorry" I said to her quietly, I have her a small, sympathetic smile. Kim didn't return this smile, her eyes looked glazed.

"It's okay" Kim replied, "Me and Jared are fine...it's just...I'm upset with his friend" she said to me, her voice was quiet and shy but I could tell she wasn't telling me the whole truth. I frowned at her, but I didn't press on, I could tell she was on the verge of tears. There was a brief moment of silence.

"So...how did you sleep?" Kim asked me kindly, her eyes were still looking a little teary,

"Really good, I've forgotten how amazing your bed is" I said with a slight chuckle, Kim smiled at me happily. I saw a book in her hand, I frowned slightly,

"How long have you been up...?" I asked, I glanced behind me and looked at the clock,

"It's noon?!" I said in shock, Kim smiled sheepishly at me.

"Sorry I thought you could do with a bit of a lie in" she said to me, I was still frowning at the clock, but then my stomach growled loudly. Kim laughed,

"Okay plan of action today is Port Angeles" Kim said to me, "...and food" she said laughing to herself, I looked at her confused, the name ringed a bell in my head but I was still confused.

"Port...where?" I asked, Kim looked slightly put out by my bad reaction.

"The town near here? We used to always go there..." Kim said, hoping to trigger my memory. And it did, memories went into my mind of me and Kim when we were younger, playing on the beach, window shopping. I smiled widely, Kim smiled back, happy that I remembered.

"Go get something to eat then we'll go" Kim said, she then sprang up and scurried up into her room. I yawned slightly, surprised at the fact that my body was still worn out. I shivered and moved towards the kitchen. I quickly ate some plain cereal, looking out the window, I was staring at a small bird, creating a nest on the tree.

"Ready?" Kim asked me, I shook my head slightly, realizing that I had been looking out the window for about ten minutes. I looked down, my cereal had gone soggy.

"umm...no" I said, Kim was wearing a big coat, I was still in my pj's.

"Well hurry up, we don't want to be late!" Kim rushed out, I raised my eyebrows slightly,

"Late for what?" I asked her, Kim frowned but went away to clean my bowl up, I sighed and didn't bother pressing on. I quickly got changed out of my thick pajamas and into my usual dark, thick clothes, I looked in the mirror- carefully not looking at my face, and made sure my whole body was covered in clothes.

"Eve!" Kim called from the living room, I frowned, wondering why Kim was rushing me.

"Coming" I horsely called back, I quickly grabbed my coat and boots and walked to the main room.

"What's the hurry?" I asked her, trying not to sound annoyed. I pulled my big coat on,

"No hurry, I just want to get there, been in the house too long" Kim said sweetly, I nodded at her and followed her out of the door.

We spent around four hours at Port Angeles, and by the end of it my body had enough. We shopped, we walked, we ate, we laughed. It was fun but it was also very draining. For some reason Kim wanted me to spend as much time there as possible, and at the end I concluded this was because I haven't been there for such a long time, but I still wasn't sure.

Kim babbled to me the entire way back as I glanced out the car window, staring at the trees flying past me. I had enjoyed our little outing but my body was crying out to me, I was in pain and eager to get home to take lots of pain killers. Kim was still driving very slow.

"Kim" I said to her, I interrupted her in mid speech about horses, she glanced at me noticing how my voice shook slightly.

"Yeah?" she asked, I took a deep breath.

"Can you go a little bit quicker?" I asked timidly, "...just need some pain killers" I added shyly, I hated the fact I was telling her this but I knew my body was screaming at me for pain relievers. Kim immediately pressed her foot down on the car pedal, making me jerk back from the sudden change in speed.

"God Eve I'm so sorry, I should of brought some! I mean...I'm sorry for keeping you out so long...it was stupid of me..." Kim blurted out many apologies to me, I smiled at her,

"Kim it's fine, it's easy to forgot" I said shutting her up. The drive back speeded up, Kim was no longer prolonging our outing.

We both hurried out of the car, leaving our newly bought items in the car. Kim kept glancing at me nervously, though I tried not to notice her panic. Kim quickly unlocked the door, and then gasped.

"What?" I asked, trying to look over her shoulder.

"What the hell are you two doing here?!" Kim shouted, I winced and backed away from her. I was tempted to charge past her, in order to get my pills. I was beginning to get desperate.

"You gave me a key remember?" Jared's calm voice said, from inside the house. Kim stood by the door with her arms folded.

"Yes I did, but I had no intention of you bringing friends!" Kim sneered out, I was surprised by her nastiness. I looked at her face and noticed the look of fury on her face.

I really couldn't stand the pain any longer, I nudged Kim slightly and her head whipped around to see me.

"Kim I really need to get them" I said with a very weak smile, Kim looked like she was about to sob. I really did not care about Jared or who ever else was in there, I wanted to get my pain killers, I tried to tell Kim this with my eyes, I think she understood.

Kim charged inside with her arms strapped around her chest crossly, I followed suite but immediately swerved the other way towards my room, I didn't look back, I swear I heard someone mutter a 'stay' but I carried on walking. I tried not to limp and show any pain on my face as I approached my room and I succeeded.

I rushed inside and threw myself into the bedside table near my bed, I scraped through the draw and found my box of pain killers. I quickly chucked two down my throat and fell onto my bed, and waited patiently for them to kick in.

I closed my eyes gently, my body was already beginning to feel numb, my brain began to clear up and I started to think clearly.

"If I EVER find you here without my permission again..." Kim's booming voice reached to my ears, I smiled slightly, I liked hearing this new, angry side to Kim. I was starting to feel curious on to what was happening in the living room and I also was starting to regret not looking back to see who else was with Jared.

I could feel the pain killers working their way through my body, I sighed quietly in content.

"I'm not going till I see her..." This voice was slightly familiar but it sounded low and rough, I frowned wondering if they were talking about me, I brushed this thought off my mind though.

I kept my eyes closed and ignored the loud voices coming from outside my room.

Suddenly, I heard a loud door slam, my body jerked up in surprise. I was no longer in any strong pain so I leaned up and walked down the hallway, eager to find out what had happened. But I only got half way down the hallway and then I stopped my tracks. I saw that Kim was crying.

I paused thinking for a moment on what to do, then I heard Jared's soothing calming Kim down, I started to back away, knowing it was best for me not to interfere. I was always terrible when it came to this type of thing.

I slowly walked back into my room and curled up on my bed, my body was still feeling extremely numb and now exhausted from the pills. I thought that it had been an odd day, come to think of it, it's been two odd days in a row, I was hoping this wasn't going to become a regular pattern.

I fell underneath the covers and cleansed my mind clear, before I could even let one bad thought in, I was fast asleep.

I was awoken by a light shove, I moaned quietly, my brain was still half asleep.

"Eve" A rough voice said to me quietly, I stirred, not wanting to leave my warm haven.

"C'mon if you sleep all day you'll miss all the fun" the voice said to me with a warm chuckle, my eyes immediately flew open at the sound of this chuckle, I had heard it before.

My eyes ached slightly but they were staring at a pair of emerald eyes, the same pair I had looked into the night before.

And these eyes were staring back at me.

* * *

**woo I managed to finish this chapter, yeshhhh!**

**Thanks to all you lovely people who reviewed on my last chapter, it seriously gave me a big boost to complete this chapter. AND WOOOLAAAAAAA, so thoughts?**

**This is a slightly mysterious chapter as it's done from Eve's prospective so it's harder to understand what's going on, BUT I TRIED OHKAY.**

**On a lighter note, 1 MORE WEEK OF SCHOOL LEFT- well for me, seriously cannot wait, then I'm off on holiday for a week, so I'll do writing while i'm away, I just wont be able to upload it...**

**soo yeahhhhhhhhhh blaugh**

**REVEIW REVEIW PLSPLSPSLSPSSPSLSLSPWISFIUWB DWUOFasdfghjkl**

**xoxo**

**Clear Thoughts will be returning shortly **


	10. Vegetarian Curry and Other Things

**Chapter 10- Vegetarian Curry and Other Things**

_'Pain is only what you allow it to be'_

I opened my eyes wide in shock, the boy I had met the night before was hovering over my bed. I thought for a moment that I was still asleep and dreaming this, but I knew I was just kidding myself, I stared at the familiar face and I then remembered his name, Embry.

Embry was fully clothed this time, he was wearing a loose shirt and jeans but what made me so surprised was the radiant smile on his face. I stared at him with my mouth open slightly, I averted my gaze and looked down quickly.

I heard a loud cough come from the door, I looked up and saw Kim standing there with her arms crossed. I was very confused and slightly scared.

"She doesn't need you waking her up!" Kim said angrily,

"Well, if it was me in Eve's position, I would want a happy face to wake me up, not an angry one" Embry countered, I jolted in surprise at him saying my name, he said my name like I was a prized possession; this made me feel even more confused.

Kim looked furious at Embry's words, my brain was still fuzzy from my sudden awakening.

"If you carry on talking like that to me you wont have a smile on your face much longer" Kim threatened, and before I could stop myself, I laughed. Embry turned his head to look at me in surprise, his eyes looked warm and comforting, I couldn't get over the way he was looking at me, it was very strange.

I looked up at Kim, my throat was dry and closed again, though she seemed to sense my confusion.

"Sorry Eve, dinner's ready, I was going to wake you up but someone got there before me" Kim said, very irritated. I made sure not to look at Embry, I felt uncomfortable enough.

Embry moved so he was standing up straight, my eyes followed him unwillingly, he was huge.

"Embry, get out" Kim said, walking over to me, I was still hidden under the covers, frozen. Embry opened his mouth to argue back, I sighed quietly.

"Please?" I added roughly, Embry looked at me confused and surprised, Kim nudged him and he broke his gaze with me and walked off.

I looked at Kim hoping for answers.

"I don't even know Eve" she said, reading my mind, Kim sighed loudly, I waited for her to explain more but she remained quiet.

I sighed again, and pushed the covers off me,

"How long was I asleep for?" I asked quietly,

"Only 2 hours" Kim answered, she seemed deep in thought. Kim sat on the end of my bed. I looked at her still waiting for answers, Kim stared back, she seemed speechless. I decided to finally voice my confusion out loud,

"What's going on?" I asked, distressed.

Kim opened her mouth to speak, but then there was a loud door slam,

"You're still here?!" Jared's voice reached us, he seemed to be talking to Embry, Kim sighed.

"I'll promise to find an answer for you after dinner" she said to me, I nodded, I hated the fact I was hidden the dark. I suddenly winced, Kim looked at me concerned,

"you okay?" she mouthed to me, I couldn't understand why she mouthed the words to me, I nodded at her though, feeling even more confused.

I got up very slowly, with Kim's help of course, the pain killers were still in my body so I couldn't feel much. I wanted to demand Kim to explain what was going on, but Kim looked so upset and distressed, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Kim let go of me and I stretched slightly, I heard voices coming from the other room, I was practically shaking with nerves.

Last night was a long stretch when it came to me socially interacting with strangers, today was much harder, I just wanted to crawl back into bed and hide myself. My body couldn't stop shaking with fear, Kim seemed to notice my fear and she smiled sadly at me.

I took a deep breath and walked out of the room, with Kim trailing behind me. I slowly let Kim take the lead, she hurried into the kitchen, that was linked to the main room. I saw Jared sitting down on the sofa with Embry, before they could turn in our approach, Kim and I hurried into the kitchen.

"I made vegetarian curry" Kim said, I could tell how proud she was, given as Kim was never the cooking type of person, I smiled at her. On the counter was a large curry dish, it smelled delicious. I voiced my opinion out loud, Kim beamed at me.

"Okay, I just need to let it cool down for another 5 minuets then it should be ready" Kim said to me happily. I nodded at her, unsure on what to do next, I didn't want to go back into the main room.

Kim paused for a moment and walked out of the kitchen, I followed.

Jared and Embry seemed to be in a heated discussion when we walked in, Embry looked up and stared at me, with the same weird facial expression as before, I quickly looked at the floor.

"Jared, are you staying for dinner?" Kim asked him sweetly. I looked up at Embry, he looked slightly put out.

"Sure, Emily has another full house tonight, I was just telling Embry that he owes Emily a visit, given as he ditched everyone last night" Jared said in annoyance, I was surprised by Jared's tone of voice, I thought him and Embry were good friends. Embry did not seemed fazed by this.

"And I was just telling Jared how I already saw her earlier today" Embry said, glaring at Jared, I glanced at Kim, who seemed deep in thought.

"Alright Embry, you can stay for dinner..." Kim said suddenly, Jared was frowning and Embry seemed gleeful. I stared at the ground again, hiding behind Kim.

"But if I ever get a day like today again, you will never be aloud to take a step inside this house again" Kim said darkly, Embry shrugged,

"That's fine by me" he said happily,

"He must really like your vegetarian curry" I muttered to Kim, completely out of my usual character, though it seemed, both Embry and Jared heard me perfectly. Jared scoffed, and Embry just smiled at me again. My stomach jolted in fear; I wish Kim didn't let Embry stay for dinner, I was nervous enough around Kim's boyfriend.

"Embry, you're going to help me set the table" Kim said sternly, Embry frowned at her but sighed and muttered "fine".

I still had my eyes plastered to the floor, I pushed myself to the side of the room, well out of his way. Him and Kim left the main room and continued bickering in the kitchen. I walked over to the sofa, near to Jared who seemed deep in thought.

I decided to try get a explanation out of him instead, I knew I would find it hard to talk to him but I forced the words out of my mouth,

"What's going on?" I asked him, extremely quietly, Jared looked at me, giving me that same sad look Kim gave me earlier. But instead of giving me a cryptic answer like Kim, Jared spoke honestly.

"Embry has taken an interest in you" Jared said in a simple tone but he also sounded quite annoyed, I was completely thrown back by his words and even more scared of Embry.

I couldn't deal with this, especially not now, not in this environment. Not where the only person I could trust was Kim.

I wanted to leave, I wanted to hide, I wanted to be back with my Dad. I now understood why Kim wouldn't tell me what was going on and why she was so angry with Embry.

But why take an interest in me?

What's so amazingly special about me?

I purposely make myself ordinary as possible, as invisible as possible so this type of thing would not happen.

I knew I should of told this Embry guy to leave me alone last night, maybe I made myself too mysterious with my blunt words? Maybe I gave him the wrong impression?

I stood there debating with myself, I felt many strong emotions come my way and was oblivious to what was going on around me; as I always was when I was deep in thought.

"Can you ask him to leave?" I asked Jared suddenly, I spoke my mind again.

Jared chuckled, I stared at him, he was amused by my upset response.

"What do you think me and Kim have been doing the past few hours?" Jared asked me, I was stunned by this; Embry must of been the one who was with Jared when we came back from Port Angeles, he must of been the one who slammed the door when I was in my room, who made Kim cry. No wonder Jared was angry with him.

I looked to the dining room and saw Kim and Embry set up the table, they seemed to be in a heated discussion.

"Eve, all he will do is stay for dinner, I promise to kick his ass out of this house afterwards" Jared said sweetly, I almost smiled at him.

Many ideas floated through my head on how to endure dinner with Embry, who I was now scared of. My body was shaking again in fear, I tried to control myself but it was no use.

Jared suddenly got up and walked to the dining room, I paused thinking for a moment to run for it but then sighed and followed him.

The table looked beautifully set out, I thought that maybe Kim had planned this first meal for days. Jared was sat down and ready to eat. Embry was no where to be seen, my body relaxed, thinking that he might of left. Kim sat opposite Jared and I pulled the chair back next to her and sat down slowly.

Sadly, Embry walked into the room with a coke in his hand, he looked positive. Kim and Jared looked darkly at him but his eyes were on me again, making me want to shake in fear. Embry sat next to Jared and kept his eyes on me, I could almost feel Kim's discomfort. I knew that she was regretting sitting next to me, or opposite to Jared, because Embry was in a perfect position to stare at me easily.

Instead of looking at him, I stared at the food instead, Jared picked up his knife and fork but Kim shot a glare at me and put her hands together. I smiled slightly, she was doing this for me, Kim would never usually pray before a meal, in fact Kim was not religious at all.

Jared shot a confused looked at Kim, obviously Kim had not done this before.

Before I came here, Kim had stayed with me and my Dad up in Vancouver, for a few weeks, for my 19th birthday. Both me and him are both religious and did the same thing as Kim was doing now. I was about to object but Embry followed suit, and so did Jared, so I did the same.

I silently prayed, thanking God for the meal and other things. I opened my eyes and saw Embry and Jared were already scarfing down their food, I looked at Kim but she just rolled her eyes at me. I began picking at my food, it was delicious, the curry some how tasted meaty but I knew it wasn't, Kim had added an interesting supply of spices. I managed to eat all of it in the end, Jared and Embry finished long before me and Kim. As we ate our food, Jared picked up a conversation with Embry, I could tell he was avoiding me and Embry talking to each other. They seemed to be talking about school, at the moment it was spring break but Jared still managed to talk about some school assignment. I didn't pay much attention to their conversation and it seemed that Kim wasn't paying much attention either.

"Do you have any school work to do Eve?" Embry asked me suddenly, and extremely nicely. I widened my eyes, not wanting to speak.

"Eve's nineteen Embry, of course she doesn't have any to do" Kim said in a bossy voice, she had finished her meal. I was still staring at Embry in shock, Embry frowned slightly, his hair was messy around his head, covering his eyebrows slightly, though he seemed to display emotion on his face easily.

"Well how on earth was I supposed to know that?" Embry asked Kim, he also sounded annoyed. Jared frowned at Embry's tone of voice, Jared opened his mouth to argue but I stepped in.

"That's okay...I'm...umm need to catch up a bit, I've missed out on about...two years of school?" I replied to Embry, I had finally decided to be civil with him and not rude, he hadn't done anything harmful to me yet.

Embry looked at me, I cursed myself for replying, he was looking at me with that strange expression on his face again.

"Lucky, I've still got two years" Embry said sounding more childlike than usual, I frowned. I wanted to ask how old he was. I managed to ask him quietly, Jared and Kim seemed to be observing our conversation silently.

Embry raised his eyebrows slightly.

"16" He said simply, I was extremely surprised by this, he looked like he was in his 20's to me, given his size "I know, I know I look like I'm 50 something" he said in humor and in confidence. Forgetting about my civil manner, I quickly replied to him.

"You still tired?" I asked him, reminding him of last night when he said he got an energy boost when he was tired. Embry seemed to catch on quickly and he grinned at me.

"I'm always tired" he said, Jared nodded in agreement.

"Maybe if you didn't run about half naked on the beach late at night you wouldn't be so tired" I said, I let my mind slip again. Kim laughed loudly at this, so did Jared. Embry also seemed amused.

"I did not 'run about half naked'" he countered quickly. I smirked ever so slightly.

"So why were you half naked then?" I asked him, Kim was still laughing, and Embry seemed speechless. I ate my final bit of the delicious curry, Kim and Jared seemed less tense now.

Sadly, my mind had gone guarded again so I sat there in silence. Kim took our plates away quickly, Embry was still staring at me. I yawned, I wanted this evening to be over, I was still very tired.

"How long are you staying here Eve?" Embry asked me kindly, Jared frowned at him, though Kim was in the kitchen so she couldn't save me from this question. I thought for a moment, me and my Dad hasn't really arranged when I was going back, I knew I wanted to go back as soon as me and Kim's friendship was back on track.

"I don't know" I said honestly and clearly. Embry seemed happy with this response, I felt jolts of fear again.

A strange noise came from outside, I couldn't hear it very clearly though, it sounded like an animal. I heard Kim sigh loudly from the kitchen.

Jared suddenly stood up and Embry's smile faded.

"We better go then" Jared said, nodding his head at Embry, who now seemed upset.

"See you tomorrow Kim" Jared said to her, Kim came rushing out of the kitchen and hugged him tightly, although they did not kiss I still felt as if I was intruding. I looked away quickly.

"See you soon Eve" Embry said to me, I looked into eyes and felt as speechless as I did last night, I smiled at him without meaning to and then they both took off quickly,

"Embry, don't forget! Not another day like today..." Kim called out to him, he shouted back "I know" and they were both gone.

Me and Kim were silent for a minute,

"Do you want to watch 'Happy Feet'?" Kim suddenly asked me, I smiled at her. I still wanted more of an explanation on what was going on but I knew that was all I was going to get from her tonight.

"Sure" I said to her, feeling more distracted than ever.

* * *

**woo it's been a while since I have last updated, but it's finally the Christmas holidays (huzzah!) so I'm going to be writing like a...like a person who writes quickly.**

**Yay for long chapters, longest one yet, mwah.**

**So thoughts guys?**

**It's a bit of meh chapter, I mean nothing dramatic happens, but you get to find out a bit more on what's going on as I feel bad for whoever is reading this story.**

**I'm going to try introduce Eve's past more, so you can find out why she's so messed up ect.**

**Any ideas for what you want to happen next? Please guys I love it when you tell me what to do, given as I am the laziest person ever, I'm actually surprised I haven't given up on this story yet.**

**SOOOOOO REVIEW DUDES KAY. and follow, favorite, ect. IT'S LIKE A CHRISTMAS PRESENT TO ME OKAY.**

**So Merry Christmas faithful readers, may you have the most merriest (?) of times,**

**ho ho ho**

**xoxo**

**Clear Thoughts will be back soon after Christmas.**

**:)**


	11. State of Mind

**Chapter 11- State of Mind**

_'Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.'_

Cut,

Rip,

_Tear,_

I felt my whole body move, twitch and shake beyond my control.

Terrible screams filled my mind, ground shaking screams, my own screams.

I felt pressure of something on me, but my mind was beyond recognition of anything.

Memories pressed themselves into my mind, I couldn't get rid of them.

They wouldn't leave my mind.

"Eve" A heard a soft voice call me name, the voice sounded alarmed.

My eyes flew open, I was drenched in sweat and I could feel something wet on my face, I suddenly realized it was tears.

Kim's face was looming over me, she looked terrified.

My body was in agony, I had moved too much. The light was on and I saw specks of blood on the sheets.

A sudden emotion took hold of me, embarrassment.

"Eve?! Are you okay?" Kim asked me loudly, obviously she had tried to talk to me moments before and I had not responded.

I glanced at the clock and saw it was, 4am.

I nodded slowly, Kim had a phone in her hand, she pressed it to her ear.

"She's responding" Kim said, sounding less scared than she did before, there was a voice coming from the other end of the phone, "Okay I'll tell her" Kim said,

"I'm on the phone with your dad" Kim explained. I nodded again, knowing I wasn't ready to speak yet.

Kim rummaged through my draws and got my pain killers out, she quickly handed me some water and two pills.

I eagerly swallowed them down, wanting the pain to go away, the more pain I was in, the more memories got into my head.

"Yes she's had the pills..." Kim said to my dad on the other end of the phone, "...I don't think they came undone" Kim said, looking around me. She was talking about the stitches on my back, there was a few drops of blood that had been spilled but I knew I've had worse.

"I know" Kim said, at first I thought she had read my mind but then I saw that she was still on the phone.

I clenched my eyes shut, calming my mind and body down,

"I'll do that" Kim said firmly, "...I'll get her to call you later then, bye" Kim hanged up and looked at me. I opened my eyes and looked back at her, not knowing what to say.

"What happened?" I finally asked her, I already knew what the answer was going to be, but I wanted to see if it was as bad as I thought. Kim frowned slightly,

"Well, I...I heard you screaming and it woke me up..." Kim said nervously, I nodded at her,

"I rushed in here and saw you moving around like crazy, it looked like you were trying to say something but you kept screaming" Kim said sadly. I looked at her again, Kim looked scared again, I felt awful.

"I remembered that before we left your dads, he put his number on my phone, in case of emergencies so I called him" Kim said, shakily.

"Kim, I'm sorry" I said, "..I mean I should of told...I should of..." My voice went quieter and quieter, I didn't know what to say.

"You sound like me now" Kim said with a small smile, she was talking about me babbling.

"You don't have to say sorry Eve, it's not your fault" Kim said to me kindly. She was sitting at the end of my bed.

"But...that rarely ever happens...I mean...I can't even think of the last time..." I said to her, Kim nodded understanding what I was saying.

"I know your Dad explained that to me" Kim said, shutting me up.

"It's my fault really, you've had too much..well..drama the past two days" Kim said, I smiled slightly,

"Drama?" I asked her, Kim laughed quietly,

"Yes, drama. I promised you would have a nice, relaxing visit, and what do you get? A stupid boy pestering you non stop" Kim said in annoyance, I realized she was talking about Embry. I looked at Kim, surprised that she was talking about him. After Jared and Embry left, we watched Happy Feet and then talked for a while; but she didn't mention him at all. I thought it best to not mention it until she was ready to talk.

"All these strong emotions probably loosened you up too much" Kim explained, I nodded in strong agreement.

Kim was right and wrong, I thought to myself. I knew that when I had explained to Kim what had happened to me, I talked about compressing the memories, but I think she thought the more distracted I was, the more it would affect me later. I thought that this could be true, but then again, I felt happier yesterday, for some strange reason. I had thought it over when I was trying to get to sleep last night. I didn't know why I felt happier, I just did, I felt more uplifted.

Kim watched me think, she sat there patiently waiting for me to respond to her theory.

"Kim, I think...it was a one off thing, like I said before that hasn't happened to me in ages" I said to her, my body was starting to feel numb again from the pills.

Kim nodded at me, there was a brief moment of silence then Kim groaned.

"You have no idea how bad I feel about yesterday, you don't know these guys like I do Eve, he wont leave you alone" Kim said sadly, changing the topic. I looked at her in confusion. It seemed like Kim had been waiting to get that off her chest for awhile

"Jared told me what he said to you about Embry" Kim said, I then remembered Jared's earlier words about Embry 'taking an interest in me'.

I sighed deeply. I was glad that Kim was distracting me from my recent fit but I still felt upset and confused about this Embry guy.

"I tried so hard to keep him away from you, that's why I wanted to go to Port Angeles so much, so he wouldn't bug you, but that failed" Kim said in desperation, she looked extremely distressed.

"But...but why?" I asked quietly, I was starting to feel tired again, Kim seemed wide awake even though it was now past 4am.

"Why what?" Kim asked me,

"Why me?" I asked, I hated the fact that this boy had taken an interest in me, I also hated the fact I had no idea what was going on. Kim looked even more upset from my question.

"I don't know" Kim said cryptically, I could tell that she was lying again, though I held my tongue.

"All I can say Eve, is that you are going to have to tell him to leave you alone, he wont listen to us. It's ridiculous and unfair, he doesn't even know you Eve" Kim said to me, I knew that she was referring to my past. I silently agreed.

Embry did not know me.

And I wasn't even going to let him know me.

"Don't worry Kim, I'm not going to let him ruin my visit" I said to Kim strongly, Kim smiled widely, she looked glad that I didn't pester her for more of an explanation.

Yes, I was still very confused on why Embry liked me, but I thought if I just leave it, and leave him alone, then I wont have to bother finding out a reason why.

"Great, look tomorrow I was planning a hike in the woods? Like we used to? Jared planned a safe route for us to use, it'll be fun" Kim said to me, she used a persuasive tone, Kim was very good at changing the conversation. I smiled, I used to love hiking here, whenever I stayed here for the summer, me and Kim's family used to hike together.

"Yeah, that'll be great!" I said enthusiastically, Kim grinned at me.

Kim glanced at the clock. Suddenly she jumped up and glanced out the window,

"What?" I asked, feeling alarmed.

"Just checking if that animal you saw last night was still there..." Kim said quietly, I raised my eyebrows, Kim's brain worked very strangely.

"Is it?" I asked, feeling more scared now.

"No" Kim said with a smile,

"You believed me?" I asked her, Kim nodded. I had completely forgotten about the demon that was lurking outside the night before. Kim did not seem fazed at all, but she though it was just an animal, instead of a beast that I spoke about the previous night before.

Kim shut the curtain completely, I frowned, normally I left it open slightly, so that there was more light in the room.

I hated the darkness.

"You gunna be okay?" Kim asked me sweetly, I nodded, eager to go back to sleep. Kim still looked worried, I could tell that my fit had shaken her up a bit.

"I'm fine Kim" I said, Kim smiled and left my room quickly, she turned the light out in my room.

I sat there in the pitch black thinking,

Am I fine?

Of course I wasn't 100% fine, but then again no one is.

No one can be 100% fine, something is always bugging someone, something is always trickling through someones mind, screwing them up.

I knew I would never be '_fine_' but I was trying, I was trying very hard.

I slowly got up and opened up the curtain more, I climbed back into bed and relaxed.

My bones clicked back into place and my mind calmed itself down.

I heard Kim move around nearby, I felt bad for disrupting her sleep, I must of really scared her, I mustn't let that ever happen again.

But what had triggered it?

Was it Kim's theory of being too 'loosened up'?

Or was it just a random coincidence?

Or was it Embry?

Is he the reason for this?

My mind seemed to be boggled by this idea, I knew it was hard for me to socially interact with people, but I don't think interacting with someone too much would harm me?

Is he harming me?

Many questions filled my mind about Embry. Although I was amused by the thought that in the short span of two days, my life was becoming more _dramatic_, according to Kim.

The main question was, did I want my life to be more dramatic?

I was stumped by this, yes I have had more drama too last a life time, back in California. But did I want more?

I came to the conclusion that Embry was not harming me, but it would be good to keep my distance. And if he didn't keep his distance, then I would have to do something about it.

The past two years at my Dad's I haven't had a speck of drama, but I thought that maybe being here with Kim wasn't that dramatic, the only focus point was this strange boy.

A boy who had taken an interest in me.

But how?

I felt annoyed and angry now, I almost wanted to find him and demand to know why he liked me, and if he could undo it somehow.

I nearly laughed at the reckless thought of finding him.

Of course this was a stupid thought, as it was past 4am and I had no idea where he lived.

I decided to stop thinking about him and left my mind relax instead.

But instead of my mind relaxing, it started to drift off, off to my past life, in California.

I hadn't thought about it in ages, I was always worried thinking about California would trigger the memories. But I started thinking about it.

I started thinking about my friends, my ex, my family.

I thought about how my brother and mother were holding up.

I thought about where my friends were now, if they went to college or not.

I thought about my old boyfriend, whether he managed to succeed in our dream of music, whether he started his own band yet.

I nearly laughed again, it was stupid of me to think about them, when they were probably much happier with me gone. Back then I was just an nuisance to everyone.

I felt sad thinking about these things, especially thinking about my family, I still didn't feel much affection towards my mom as I pretty much tore our relationship up years ago. But I did feel sad thinking about my younger brother, I missed him.

He was two years younger than me, he's 16 now. This thought stayed glued to my mind, I carried on thinking about him, I knew how much he hated me years ago, I wondered if he still hated me now, I wondered if he believed my story on what really happened to me, or whether he believed the false one my mother spread around.

Everyone believed the false story, if I was them I would believe it.

Who would believe the 16 year old slut? I thought to myself darkly.

The memories began to wedge themselves back into my mind, I pushed them away forcefully.

I tore myself away from thinking about California and my mind finally began to relax.

My eyes remained open and kept flickering to the window, I feeling tense. I knew this was because of the thing outside my window the night before, I was worried it was still outside. I brushed off these worries quickly and closed my eyes.

I soon fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next morning went by swift-fully, with no interruptions.

Kim seemed happier, I think talking last night got everything off her chest.

I talked to my Dad as soon as I got up, he did the usual medical examination, he was trying to persuade me to go for a check up, though I declined. Still, I passed his test and didn't have to go to the doctors on his orders.

Kim was rushing around the house, getting everything ready for the hike, there was a large map spread out on the dining room table. I helped out as much as possible, though I felt slightly groggy as I filled my body up with pain killers to get me through the day.

I noticed that Kim had kept the house spotless, I was impressed as her parents weren't due back for a couple more days. They were at some garden festival down south, according to Kim. I thought it sounded very much like the sort of thing Kim's parents would do.

I was wearing one of Kim's old boots and thick clothing, it still looked miserable outside but it wasn't raining. I even thought I saw a patch of blue sky at one point while eating breakfast.

I also noticed how restless Kim looked, she kept glancing at the door in anticipation, I frowned whenever she did this. Finally, near to the point when we were ready to go, I voiced my thoughts out loud.

"Are we expecting someone?" I asked her, Kim just looked at me, not replying. I shook my head slightly, and pulled my big coat on.

"You ready?" she asked me, pulling a rucksack onto her back. I nodded at her, my heart was pounding in excitement, I hadn't done anything like this in years.

There was a knock on the door, Kim rushed over and pulled it open, I glanced at the door and saw it was Jared, I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes. Strangely Kim looked relieved,

"Hey" Jared said to Kim lovingly, they had their usual blissful greeting, while I concentrated on the map that was sprawled out on the table.

Jared came in the house, he was just wearing a thin, short sleeved shirt. I thought that he must be freezing.

"Hey Eve" He said, putting his hand up in greeting, I smiled at him happily.

"What? No puppy trailing behind you then?" I asked him in humor, I was in a very good mood, I knew I was acting indifferent but I didn't care. Jared laughed loudly at this, Kim looked happy at my words, but I guessed she could sense my good mood.

"Not yet" Jared said, grinning.

"You guys all ready?" he asked, looking at Kim's backpack and my hiking boots.

"You sure you don't want me to come?" Jared asked Kim, she shook her head, Jared looked crestfallen, Kim laughed at his facial expression.

"I'll give you guys a lift then" Jared said,

"How will we get back?" Kim asked, I folded the map up and held it in my hands.

"I'll leave the car there stupid" Jared said playfully, I smiled slightly, him and Kim were very cute together.

I then frowned at his words, it didn't add up.

"How will you get back then?" I asked him clearly, Kim looked surprised at my involvement in the discussion.

Jared frowned slightly, "I...err...I'll walk" he said, I raised my eyebrows slightly, I knew the place we were going was in the middle of no where.

"I still need to burn off that curry from last night" Jared said, smiling at Kim, who laughed. I decided not to question his intentions and let it slide for now.

We got to the start of the trail pretty quickly, I sat in the back, silently, while Jared and Kim talked in the front of the car. I stared out the window during the drive up, it was beautiful outside, there was a light mist on the mountains, and the forest looked alive and bright. It all looked like a green blur to me as we sped down the road.

Happy memories filled my mind, I was nearly bouncing in excitement when we stopped the car.

Kim groaned loudly, "So much for no interruptions" Kim muttered, though me and jared heard her perfectly. We both looked to where she was looking and saw someone on one of the benches.

I groaned loudly, the car thudded to a stop. Kim and Jared seemed tense again, I banged my head against the car seat in frustration.

I had enough of this, I wanted this day to be perfect, now it was already getting ruined by him.

Embry.

I opened my eyes and got myself ready to show my angry side.

I had enough.

And I was finally going to do something about it.

* * *

**DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH,**

**Another heck of a long chapter, hurray!**

**SOOO THOUGHTS DUDES?**

**Next chapter is going to be in Embry's prospective, so that will be different...**

**As you can see I added more information to the mystery of Eve Winters (that would be a cool title for this story, The Mystery of Eve Winters...err) ANYWAY,**

**How was ya'lllllllllllllsssssss Christmas?**

**HmHmHm?**

**REVIEW KAY. :) please review. :)  
**

**xoxo**

**Clear Thoughts will be returning shortly **


	12. Conflicting Feelings

**Chapter 12- Conflicting Feelings **

_'We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.'_

Embry POV-

I sat on the park bench, thinking...

Thinking about _her_, something I had been doing for days.

I sighed in frustration, I was tired of this, feeling so damn frustrated all the time.

I was annoyed at everyone, and it seemed like everyone was annoyed at me too.

I could understand why Kim was angry at me, I mean, I knew that she had been planning this visit for ages, but it's not like it's my fault, I didn't choose this to happen.

And Jared, I guess I could understand, given as Kim was angry, he would be angry.

But everyone else?

Even Emily was annoyed at me, and she had only met Eve once.

I could hear the car coming and I knew I would get hell from Kim and Jared for doing this, but I couldn't keep myself away.

Yesterday was a hard day for me, I got a yelling from Kim at the crack of dawn, telling me to stay away from Eve, then I got Jared yelling at me for upsetting Kim because I told her I couldn't just stay away from Eve. I thought out of all people Jared would understand, given as he has imprinted on Kim, but apparently not.

Jared even tried to get Sam to command me not to go see Eve, luckily, after hours of arguing Sam left the matter alone. I then had to wait patiently for Kim and Eve to get back from Port Angeles, which was like sitting through torture. I could tell Kim was purposely trying to get Eve away from me. I still felt furious with Kim. I tried to make myself calm though, I couldn't risk changing in front of Eve. I thought more about seeing her yesterday.

I finally made Jared feel guilty and got a car trip down to Kim's house, around the time they were due back.

And I then saw her, she looked even more beautiful than the last time I saw her, but I only got a glimpse of her as she sped off some place else, so instead all I got to see was Kim's angry face.

My mind brought back the memories of yesterday, I pushed away all the ones of Kim yelling at me and just thought about her, her only.

Thoughts of when I woke her up, how peaceful she looked, how innocent, how beautiful. Then thoughts about talking to her when we had Kim's meal, when she smiled at me and played around with my words. It felt perfect.

I groaned again in frustration.

I wanted to stop thinking about her, but I couldn't.

Part of me wished that this never happened, the other part disagreed.

I had no idea my brain would be so conflicted, whenever I thought of imprinting it seemed _easy, _like stepping into a calm river, but no, I understand now, its like stepping into the sea in the middle of a raging storm.

I wish someone could have warned me. And I wish I could of imprinted on someone who wasn't so...out of bounds. Kim seems to be acting as Eve's personal bodyguard, pushing me away from her, as if I'm the deranged paparazzi.

I saw the car, hurrying down the street, there a light breeze coming from the trees behind me. I heard angry voices coming from the car, even Eve's voice. I sighed in content, happy to hear her voice again, even though it sounded pissed.

The car stopped in front of me, I stood up, eager to see Eve. I waited for Kim and Jared to get out first but Eve was the first one to get out. I smiled at her, blissfully happy. I swear she looked even more beautiful than she did yesterday night. She was wearing heavy, dark clothes, like the clothes she was wearing the first night I met her. Her face looked cold and tired, when I first saw her. Her cropped auburn hair bounced around in the wind, covering up her sea blue eyes, which then pierced through mine. I almost took a step back in shock, she looked furious. An emotion which I haven't seen yet, though she was obviously furious with me and that is what shocked me. Her jawline was hard and her eyes seemed to be bulging out in anger, I heard Kim and Jared get out, talking to me, giving me angry words. I ignored them and stared only at her, and she was looking right back at me this time. Her eyes were swimming with anger and another emotion which I couldn't quite place. She stormed up to me, slightly limping, which made me more confused and upset.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she got there before me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in a quiet, reserved tone, though I had a feeling that she could blow up any second. She might not though, I knew Eve wasn't any ordinary girl.

"I came here to see you" I said honestly and accidentally, I knew I screwed up with my words again. Eve's face then showed many conflicting emotions, there was a tense moment of silence, Kim and Jared seemed to be over by the car watching the situation.

"Look, just leave me alone!" Eve's voice screamed at me suddenly, finally cracking. I raised my eyebrows surprised, I could feel her words cut into me, but she wasn't done.

"Just get on with your silly life and leave my miserable one alone!" she yelled, her face looked furious. Kim looked shocked at Eve's anger as did Jared. I felt speechless. Her face was finally showing strong emotion, it looked like it had broken free somehow, but obviously for the wrong reasons. She was shaking slightly, I could tell she was also upset. I immediately felt a kick in my gut for registering this, I didn't want to upset her or make her angry.

I wanted to do the opposite of that.

"Do you understand?" she asked me simply, and more quietly. I stood still, not really understanding her at all, her face was close to mine, I couldn't stop staring into her blue eyes. I felt mesmerized, they were digging through mine. I knew I had too reply, but I felt hurt.

Can't she see that I can't stay away from her? I wanted to yell this into her face, but I knew I would hurt her and I couldn't make myself do that.

"Yes and no" I said simply and bluntly, this did not help, Eve clenched her fists in agitation.

"Explain" she said bluntly, I was about to reply but she added in more words.

"And I mean _explain_, I'm tired of everyone lying to me. What is going on?!" Eve asked loudly and angrily, she turned to look at Jared and Kim as well as me. I didn't know what to say, and neither did Kim or Jared. Obviously Eve wasn't believing anything Kim or Jared was saying to her.

"What is going on?" Eve repeated, more quietly. "I came her for a relaxing visit, and I am not getting one, because of _you._" she said with the same hard tone of voice, she shot a cruel glare at me. I wanted to scream at her, try and make her understand but I couldn't, I felt so helpless. She looked at me again, waiting for me to reply, I felt thunderstruck. I managed to stammer a few words out, but I couldn't lie to her.

"Fine" she said to me, "If you carry on harassing me, I'm leaving" she threatened darkly, and added a sad look at Kim.

"I'm sorry Kim, but I'll go back to my Dad's if this doesn't stop" she said, more calmly, one part of me was completely amazed by her change of emotion, she seemed so collected and quiet. I would have never guessed she was like this. The other part of me finally realized what she said.

She was saying that if I carried on seeing her then she would leave, for good.

She couldn't leave.

But I had see her.

Kim smiled at Eve, understandingly, and then shot a look at me, as did Jared.

"That's very fair Eve" Kim said, looking at me, expecting me to agree. I felt furious now, I wanted to rip Kim's stupid head off, and Jared's as well. I could feel my body shaking, Jared gave me a concerned look and shook his head, this just made me more angry and upset.

How can they not understand?

Why can't I see Eve?

What harm would it do to them or her? All I want to do is be around her, listen to her, speak to her. I just want to be with her.

Fucking imprinting, I thought to myself.

I was in a hole, and in no way could I dig myself out of it.

I felt broken somehow, I wanted to fix this, I wanted Eve to understand, but I knew this wasn't the time or place for it. I stared at Eve and managed to calmed myself down

I quickly decided I would try and abide her wishes for today, at least. But I was determined that I would find her and talk to her alone, without her bodyguard trailing around her all the time.

"Well?" she asked me rudely, I could immediately tell that she felt uncomfortable being rude to me, she sounded out of practice to me; like she knew the words but didn't know how to pronounce them somehow.

"I understand" I managed to say, very quietly and sounding very hurt. I took one last look at her, taking in her beauty to hold onto for the rest of the day. Her blue eyes looked angry but also there was something else hidden behind the anger, fear. I gave her a slight confused glance, then I quickly walked off, down the long, cobbled road. Not looking back, feeling defeated.

This was a whole new side to Eve and I felt even more confused.

I hated feeling so damn confused.

I knew I needed to think of a plan fast to get me out of this situation. But what could I do?

As soon as I was out of sight, I felt my body shake again, I was glad I could finally explode and get rid of these harmful emotions inside of me.

I changed and carried on thinking about Eve Winters; I could feel the gaping hole in my chest begin to form.

* * *

**okay I suck I know, no need to throw eggs at me okay?**

**I know its been ages since i've updated ugh.**

**FIRST OF ALL HUGE MASSIVE EXPLODING THANK YOU TOOOOOO **

**...**

**YellowLeatherLover!- you are the reason I actual carried on, I completely forgot about this story then one rainy day I opened my email and saw your awesome review, I was literally jumping around in happiness so now I WILL CARRY ON, and to answer your question **

**no.**

**mwhahahahahahahahaahahahahah aha, well I will tell you about eve but I like making people feel horrible suspense (hehe) seriously there is such a big story behind this girl it would be such a shame to just be like poop here you go, it would confuse everyone. BUT THANK YOU X1000000 :))))))**

**anyhooooooo WATCHA THINK? yes its short okay? aha its hard doing embry pov because its easy to write him as a pansy but i want him to be all masculine and bam but I don't think it really worked, THOUGHTS?**

**YES SO REVIEW DUDES AND DUDETTES! and follow, fav blahblahblahhhhhh**

**xoxo**

**Clear Thoughts will be back soon after the break.**


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